Erwin Schrödinger, the Nobel-prize-winning Austrian physicist, was able to make major contributions to the fields of quantum mechanics, general relativity, and color theory during his lifetime. There was only one caveat: He was not able to make those contributions … in the morning.

“He couldn’t work in the mornings at all,” his wife, AnneMarie, said in an interview. “The [Max] Planck lectures—as you know, it was 30 or 40 years ago that Planck was in Berlin—were given in the morning from nine to ten. When he got this very, very honorable call to Berlin, he wrote first thing and said, ‘I’m very sorry, but I can’t keep the lecture hours because I can’t work in the morning.’ … They understood, and changed it to the afternoon—two lectures, one after the other—on two days.” – “The Four Types of Sleep Schedules,” Olga Khazan, The Atlantic 2014

“Will the lectures take place, Herr Schrödinger?”

“Yes and no.”

And so on.

That article recounts a new (at the time) bit of social science, which is that some people are neither night owls nor early-risers; instead having energy all day and night, or being sleepy constantly. Leaving aside the question of whether the social sciences qualify as a science (nope), the fact remains that the scientists (giggle) behind this study (snicker) have left out several different types of sleep schedules.

TotD presents now The Other Kinds Of Sleep Schedules:

DaVinci Sleep Known from Seinfeld, this somnambulance plan has you up for three hours, followed by a 20-minute nap. Repeat.

Caravaggio Sleep: Paint three hours, nap for 20 minutes, stab someone for insulting you, flee town. Repeat.

Afternooniacs Night Owls love the evenings, and early-risers go for the dawn, but these folks prefer the period between lunch and dinner. No Afternooniac has ever enjoyed a vacation to Spain.

Friskies This newly discovered chronotype sleeps for 16-18 hours a day, interspersed with sudden and frenetic outbursts of energy, and then shits in a box, and is a cat.

Kanye Sleep KANYE SLEEP IS THE BEST SLEEP. I AM THE BEST SLEEPER AND NO ONE WILL RECOGNIZE THAT. I PUT MY OWN MONEY INTO MAKING NEW BEDS AND FASHION PILLOWS AND THE SLEEP WORLD LAUGHS. KIM INVENTED SLEEPING. I INVENTED KIM. I INVENTED SLEEPING.

Narcolepsy This is a medical disorder, and it’s not funny.

Pretending To Have Narcolepsy And Collapsing Onto Children At Chuck E. Cheese That shit’s funny as hell.