Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Caution

IMG_2877One more shot of beardless Garcia (the worst Garcia except for Dead Garcia) and the Boys in front of the proto-Wall in Cleveland, 12/6/73.

This show’s notable for its punchy and tight short songs, respectable for the bombasticism that Phil treats the evening with, and legendary for what might be the Greatest Dark Star Of All Time (Except All The Others).

Please don’t take my warning about this Dark Star lightly; this is not a DS for noobs or randos or young women of society who don’t really try all that hard (dilettante debutantes). In fact, the FDA (Federal Darkstar Administration) requires me to read the following warning before you listen to this Dark Star:

Attention Enthusiasts!

The Cleveland Dark Star is a powerful and concentrated narcodiazapamphetinabinol. It can only be prescribed by a physician or someone on the Internet who says he is a physician.

Care should be taken with the Cleveland Dark Star. Do not operate heavy machinery while listening, unless you’re absolutely positive there are no cops out.

Do not drink alcoholic beverages while listening to the Cleveland Dark Star. Well, a couple drinks won’t hurt. Don’t be a Sloppy Sam or a Stumbling Sue is all we’re saying.

May cause euphoria, satori, noodle dancing, excitement of Alpha-waves, cessation of pointless paperwork bullshit, patriotism (the good kind), randy tinglings in your nethers, low blood pressure.

Do not combine the Cleveland Dark Star with other music. It’s been done.

People with the following medical conditions should avoid the Cleveland Dark Star:

  • Rabies.
  • Scabies.
  • Babies, unless your baby is awesome.
  • Harryhausen’s Syndrome-by-Proxy. (That is when you turn your children into stop-motion animation for attention.)
  • Scarlet fever.
  • Scarlet Bieber.
  • Scarlet beaver. (This is a sexually-transmitted disease you can only get in Canada.)
  • Music-induced nausea.
  • Sexual dyslexia.
  • Forceps left in skull by obstetrician and never removed.
  • Ectoplasmic pregnancy.
  • Occasional Coma Syndrome.
  • Swamp ass.
  • Tennis elbow.
  • Fisherman’s finger.
  • La grippe.
  • Ague.
  • Consumption.
  • Dropsy.
  • Scrofula.

Please be careful in taking the Cleveland Dark Star, as repeated listening can prove habit-forming.

26 Comments

  1. Do not taunt Cleveland Dark Star,

    Although Cleveland Dark Star is the epitome of 73 sublime, consult your doctor if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours, or really if you get one just from a song, though this would be the one to do so you did. And by that I mean the non-Pigpen dark stars of course.

  2. I listened to it earlier today.. Your picture yesterday drove me to that show, and I am from Cleveland.

    Yikes it is good.

    My mind was overloaded, but I think there was some Keith fender Rhodes action that was obscene, Donna Jean was home pregnant and Keith took out his lonely frustration on the keys. .

    There is a Cleveland Dark Star about a year before.

    http://relisten.net/grateful-dead/1972/10/28

  3. I think you mispelled Sexual Dyslexia… oh never mind.

  4. The Cleveland Sunshine is also my favorite version of that song.

  5. Sir Luther Von Baconson

    December 14, 2015 at 1:23 pm

    • Dermagurki.

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