Hello. Who are you?


White people shouldn’t be allowed to name children.


Nothing. Nice hat.

“It was my brother’s, but he gave it to me and when I wear it, you can’t see me if I don’t want you to.”

I wish I had that kind of hat.


You look like you’re about to hop onstage, buddy.

“Gonna play the drums.”

Don’t do that.


You won’t make it.



Told ya.

“Who was the guy with no hair that picked me up?”

Robbie Taylor.

“He’s strong.”

If you were older and had wandered onto the stage, you’d find out how strong.

“Like The Rock?”


“Like Superman?”


“Wow. Who’s this?”


“The guy.”

Telling the stories?


That’s Phil Lesh. He’s the bass player for the  Grateful Dead, which is a semi-defunct choogly-type band. Also, he owns the restaurant.

You see that little boy over there in the yellow shirt?


The guy reading the stories is the little boy’s grandpa.

“Oh, okay.”

Klaxon, who’re your two favorite superheros?

“Superman and The Rock.”

What if The Rock fought Superman?

“Nooooo. They’re good guys. They would fight Kylo Ren and it would be like PSSSH! and BAAAAAM! and then The Rock would pick him up and be KDDDUSH into a building and the building would BOOOOOOM and then Kylo Ren would take off his mask? He would take off his mask? His mask?”


“He’s Batman!”


“And, and, and then Iron Man shows up and he’s all KCHOOOM, and then–”

“Young man!”

“–The Rock is like ‘I’m hit, I’m hit’ and then Superman goes–”


“–‘I will avenge you, The Rock’ and then–”

“I’m telling a story here, rapscallion!”

Klaxon, shh.

“I blame you for this, idiot.”

Me? What did I do?

“You got him all worked up.”

Everyone’s a little worked up right now, Phil.