“Thoughts on my Ass!”

Hey, Billy. Whatcha doing?

“Refusing to leave a bar that closed hours ago.”

Sure. I have questions.



“Why not?”

Here we go: what’s your favorite part of doing the laundry?

“Banging the chick that does it for me.”


“Wait, I really like getting into fights at laundromats, too.”

I heard.

“There’s nothing to do while you’re waiting.”

Moving on. What is laundry to you?

“Best way to get rid of DNA evidence.”

How do you make laundry an enjoyable task?

“By banging the chick that does it for me.”


“Incredibly enjoyable.”

Laundry pet peeve?

“I threw a dryer at a pizza guy once, does that count?”

Absolutely not.


Proudest laundry victory?

“When I threw the dryer at the pizza guy, I hit him.”

Great. Favorite Laundress product?

“Le Labo Santal 33 Signature Detergent.”

Because smells–

“Caught in my mustache.”

–get caught in your mustache. What did you used to be afraid to wash?

“Shirts with spiders on them.”

Last question, Billy.

“I can’t believe you came up with this many already. We’re talking about fucking laundry, right?”

Shockingly enough, yes. What might we not know about laundry at the Kreutzmann house?

“I bang the chick that does it for me.”

Great talk.