“Hello. I love. Hello.”
You’re a very good-looking dog.
“Did some modelling.”
How’d that go?
“Pooped on a camera.”
“Offered to eat poop, but that made no one happy.”
“No pleasing people.”
Lemme ask you a question.
Is there dog racism?
“I bark at Asian ladies.”
No, I mean intra-species. Like, schnauzers against mastiffs or whatever.
“Dog is dog. Butt smell like butt.”
“Except for little dog. They are sub-dog. Bring country down. Cause of problem.”
What did they do?
“Yap. Hate yap so much. Want to eat. Cannot eat.”
Can’t eat them because of the rules and perhaps an inner dog morality?
“Had all aggression bred out of me. Am big lazy baby.”
Just as good.