pass silver surfer

When Galactus (you remember Galactus–we just talked about him: giant, purple, hungers?) came to eat Norrin Radd’s homeworld of Zenn-La, the young astronomer saved his world by becoming Galactus’ herald. Just the teeny-tiniest drop of Galactus’ energies, known as the Power Cosmic, gave Radd the powers of the Silver Surfer, but he had to leave his home, and his beloved: the alluring Shalla Bal. Thus, there was quite a bit of moping.

Honestly, the Surfer made Hamlet look like Leroy Jenkins. If he had hair, he would have an emo-cut. When the joint gets to him is when he starts reciting his poetry and showing you his “history of self-harm, written ‘pon mine very flesh,” which is a single faded scar-ish thing that you’re pretty sure he told you was from opening a can of tuna when he was drunk.

Plus: the Power Cosmic, not cosmic power. Never cosmic power: that just sounds dumb, man. Don’t be plebian.

It was THE POWER COSMIC, and it flows through the Marvel Universe (well, one of them–the details are truly excruciating) like The Force flows through the SWU: Odin, Galactus, all your godly-type dudes are chock to the brim with the Power Cosmic, which has never been fully explained and acts mostly as Plot Juice. Having the Power Cosmic is pretty much the same as being really good at wishing.