Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Coming To Grips With The Oncoming Evening

Once again, Enthusiasts, certain Jesse Jarnows who shall remain nameless have proclaimed my genius.

He said nothing of the sort.

It was an implied proclamation.

No such thing. Proclamation and implication are opposites. You proclaim things at the top of your voice in the public square; you imply things by deliberately not saying the thing you’re saying, and hoping the other person will figure out who you want assassinated.

Still: genius.

The New Yorker has a lot to answer for.


Okay, you’re not allowed to watch TV or go on Twitter tonight.

I have been kicking that idea around. Last night, I thought it would be fun to watch a few minutes of the convention, but it turns out you can’t glance at the abyss.

A little is as bad as a lot.

Yeah. So I can’t do that tonight. And plus I don’t even want to hear about it, or read about, or see Just 19 Awesomely Epic Tweets About The RNC. Remember this poor schmuck?

indy jones swordsman.jpg

Never had a chance.

I envy this man, whose part was cut was because Harrison Ford had diarrhea; I further envy the character, who got shot and died and didn’t have to live through 2016.

Indiana Jones just flat-out murders that guy in cold blood.

Right, he’s the hero, keep up.

What’s your point?

I have two: first, there must be distraction tonight. I gotta find something to do that occupies my attention, because an idle mind is the devil’s voting bloc. Also, I may or may not be accusing Jesse Jarnow of things.


I may.

You shouldn’t.

I may not.

There you go. Any idea on the distraction?

Thinking a Thoughts on a Thing thing.

You okay?

That sentence hurt my brain.

English is awesome. I was gonna do The Last Waltz, but it’s not on Netflix any more.


I was going to say the meanest things about Robbie Robertson.

That would have been fun. Any other ideas?

Just one, but I’m also open to suggestions. That dopey Batman Punches Superman movie is on the Apple TV for five bucks and if someone hates me, I’ll do that.

You’re such a whore.

If I am, I’m terrible at it. Five bucks is very reasonable.

Two extra for ass-fucking.

Did you post a picture of the post in the post?





  1. I think we’d all enjoy reading you torturing yourself over trying to review the entire Download Series backwards.

  2. Oooooh. A reference. Next thing we know, you’ll be posting ad for Warby Parker on the site.

  3. Mentioned a comment a few posts back in anticipation of the RNC. A thoughts on best Beatle album, Rush album, Floyd.. Where the album and songs start to finish the album is a masterpiece.

  4. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    July 20, 2016 at 12:18 pm

    Jesse did use the word ‘Though’ and later in that paragraph, the letters ‘ts’ appear. Also, the letters ‘on’ are used, as is the word ‘the’. And, ‘Dead’ is also used. Subliminally, way under the radar, and stretching it past the breaking point of no return, you get mentioned!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.