Okay, Enthusiasts: got a question, a serious one, an honest one. (I reserve the right to stop taking the question seriously at any point, though.)
If my MacBook were a horse, then the French would not eat it: it is strung-out and slipping, and I spend more time with the spinny beachball than I do writing, or enjoying various pornographies. And, you know: that’s pretty much all I do on the computer, with an occasional detour to Salon because I hate myself.
A new device must be procured, and fairly quickly; this is where I reach out to you: what the hell should I get? I’m fairly positive I despise Apple and its overpriced geegaws, but all the other bullshit in my house is from Apple, and I may be trapped into a digicology.
Can I leave Apple? If I do, will they declare me a Suppressive Person like Nicole Kidman? I don’t need that, as I already get mistaken for Nicole Kidman far too much.
A further question: a quick glance at the innertubes shows that there are dozens of non-Apple laptops in the $500 range. My cynicism says that they do the same thing as the Macs costing a grand, but I need someone to confirm this for me. Basically what I’m asking here is for someone to make me believe the same thing about Apple that I already believe about, say, Beats by Dre.
So: recommendations, warnings, plugs? Or–even better–does anyone have an extra new computer lying around? If you did, you could send it to me, and I would not even be mad if you sent it three-day delivery.
(Plus, if you did send me a computer, that would make you just like a De Medici or a Borgia, but not the assassinating and political machinating parts, just the patronage.)