Oh, Enthusiasts: this is exciting. Our first honest-to-gosh contest with a real prize and legalities and no purchase required and whatnot. This contest has all the whatnots.
THE PRIZE: BotD’s cigars.
HOW TO PLAY: Enter by clicking on Donate Button and filling out all the little boxes and forms.
HOW TO WIN: Whoever makes Donate Button happiest wins.
Please don’t do this.
It’s fun. We’re getting the fandom involved.
Also don’t do that.
Call the readers a “fandom?”
Yes.
…
Yeah, you’re right.
They’re not sixteen-year-olds on Tumblr. Most of them are directly responsible for keeping other humans and/or pets alive. Have some respect.
Okay, okay.
Plus: this is not a contest.
How so?
You are selling another human’s possessions.
Well, when you put it like that.
What, factually?
Sure.
Also, you need to stop anthropomorphicizing the donate button.
You sure about that verb?
Humanifying. Sentientizing. Vivasperating.
Did you just define an incorrect word with three made-up ones?
Irregardless.
Also not a word.
Just stop being awful.
No.
Okay.
A very silent auction
I donated to Hillary and…. bye bye single payer. Donated to Bern and bye bye ex/I’m bank. Fonts to you and red stool gets own blog.
There will be no cigars given away. Don’t let the donate button deceive you. It only tells capitalist lies. I question this redistribution of my wealth. I’m confusing my ideologies. I’ve been traveling quite a bit lately.
Maybe time for the shame game? Throw us some stats of unique viewers vs. donors. Let us try to guess which is which? Or maybe asking bloggers for their viewer count is like asking ranchers how many cattle they have (made that mistake once). Ratio will suffice.