Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Corrrect, Not Just Clean

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What the fuck is wrong with you?

“What?”

Are you James Franco-ing?

“I have no idea what that means.”

Is this performance art?

“No. I truly care about laundry.”

What the fuck is wrong with you?

“I don’t get where this hostility is coming from.”

Because for better or worse, you’re a motherfucking Grateful Dead now, and this is not okay.

“Bobby did a commercial for a supermarket!”

Yes, but he was so bad at it that it was adorable.

See?

“Wow, yeah. That was something. He just said all of his lines at once, like they were one long word.”

There’s a reason Phil got the guest spot on Nash Bridges, and Bobby didn’t.

“Jerry sold ties.”

“Garcia.”

You put some respect on his name, Josh Meyers.

“Don’t call me that. Garcia sold ties.”

He didn’t sell the fuckers, he let them chop up his drawings for them, and then whoever he was married to at the time cashed the check. And he certainly didn’t open up a dry cleaners afterwards to launder the things. Act like a Grateful Dead, dammit.

“How?”

Coke problem?

“No!”

Just a little one.

“Is there such a thing?”

At first, yeah. C’mon, man: little tootski.

“No.”

Schnarf the yay.

“No.”

Who’s a Nosey Parker? You a Nosey Parker?”

‘Stop it.”

Fine, you don’t have to snort it. You could bang that shit like a man, you pusswich.

“I’m just going to not talk to you any more tonight.”

You have laundry to do?

“Yes, but that’s not why.”

4 Comments

  1. We love you Josh, but that does not mean you can get away with this.

    Hold the line on this ToTD.

  2. truly — not acceptable.

    i had a friend in college who once came into a room and yelled to one of his friends, “donaldson, PACK MY BEAK!”

  3. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    September 17, 2016 at 9:43 am

    I wonder how many takes THAT took???

  4. Oh Lord help us

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