Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Costumed Adventurers


It’s not a practical outfit.

“It’s an extremely practical outfit. Practicality is about efficiently accomplishing your goals. My goal was to show off the goods, and I also wanted to wear a hat. Thus, this outfit. It is the shortest line between two points.”

What about the boots?

“The boots are not practical. I’ll give you that.”

Have you fallen?

“Not all the way. Couple stumbles, nothing major.”

I once watched a drag queen in 8″ platform shoes topple over very, very slowly.

“Why did she fall, and why were you watching?”

Drugs, and drugs. Whats next for democracy?

“It was a good idea at the time.”

Isn’t a good idea timeless?

“Of course not. Some ideas are only good at the time. Dropping a nuke is a terrible idea currently. August of ’45? Smartest thing anyone ever heard.”

Was it?

“It was practical.”

It was.

“The best results come from applying all your energy at once, overwhelmingly and at the correct moment. The walls of Jericho tumbled not because Joshua played his horn so well, but from the note’s frequency and volume. Get those right and you can shake the world apart.”

What do you do for work?

“I own the Goggle Hut right outside Black Rock City.”


“Mama’s making bank.”

Marry me.

“It’s so nice to meet a man who just wants me for my money. But I’m dating the Guy With The Most Inappropriate Costume At Phish.”





No. No. No. Shut the fuck up, no.


  1. That’s it.

    Regular people go to the dessert to.

    Check us out. We deserved to be looked at.

    Life is more than Camel Toe and side boob.

  2. Is that a fly whisk, a whip or a Field Marshall’s baton?

    +1, the boots are completely impractical.

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