Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Crack Up At The Movies

This might be it for TotD and the Meetups at the Movies. It might, in fact, be it for TotD and leaving the house at all: I have lost every last shred of patience I ever had with people and their chit-chat and their phones and their singing and their tentative after-song clapping and their belief that flip-flops are appropriate.

Everyone is dressed unacceptably, groomed haphazardly, and styling their hair in ways I do not approve of. There are the fat, who are loathsome; and the skinny, who are despicable and few. Various airs of varying foulness waft unchecked from every orifice.

People’s necks are disgusting.

Okay, pal. Wanna throttle back on body horror and agoraphobia?

I’m just expressing what everyone was thinking.

You were not. In no way, shape, or form. You were confused and frightened by all the uncontrollable stimuli and you responded by how?

How many times did you get out of your seat?

Maybe twice.

Eleven times. In the two hours you were there–and we’ll get to the bit where you left early–you bopped in and out of the theater eleven times. Bathroom, cigarette, Heineken, you needed to post to the blog because you’re awful, another cigarette…

I get ants in my pants.

Ants.

The people in the theater were bothering me, so I went outside and then the people outside were bothering me, ao I went back in where it turned out the people had not changed one bit, so I went home. I saw Terrapin, which was the big thing, I guess.

Who knows? Maybe during Morning Dew a big dog ran onstage and Bobby wrestled it to submission with a thigh-lock?

Lot of Bobby on that screen.

But, you’ll never know.

Maybe I’ve grown out of a need for the communal experience. Also, I took a piss next to a guy whose prostate must have been the size of a catcher’s mitt. It sounded like this: “HAAAaaaaletsgo. CumMON. Humph. Humph. Ah, ah, ah. Ohhhh.”

I want you to call that psychiatrist back. Your type of crazy ends up on the evening news if you let it get out of hand.

Did I mention the necks?

You did, yes.

14 Comments

  1. Sorry to hear you had a less than stellar experience. The Dew was great.

    Although I did have some frustration myself. Met up with some folks I’ve met at shows around the area — imagine my horror when it turned out they were the talkers/clappers/dancers!

    Still a swell night out at the pictures. It’s always great to see Garcia looking healthy, not to mention alive.

  2. Robin Russell

    May 4, 2015 at 11:11 pm

    Thanks for the incisive reporting. Through your evocative and perceptive commentary, I have been able to live the experience in my imagination, a wonderful boon given that almost no thought seems to have been given to organising a showing here in Honiara. In fact, the whole anniversary celebration has by-passed us so far.

    Luckily, we were also by-passed by the effects of the recent 7.4 earthquake near New Ireland.

  3. You gotta pick the right theatre man. I told you to come on down to cypress creek 16! It wasn’t too bad. Mostly respectful people; except the clapper…

    Funny, as i sat there trying to concentrate on this ridiculous band and people with their phones, and off-beat clapping, and the one dude flailing his arms like he plays the drums AND the guitar (believe me he plays neither; i can tell), and all the other things distracting me… I thought: imagine being in a stadium (read: chicago) right now. Fuck no! These people would be even closer to me?! And how much did i pay for that “experience”?

    Complain about the theatre as you will, but for all its faults, you couldn’t pay me to be at another stadium “dead” show. Sounds like you would fare even worse!

  4. You missed a really good sequence, Other One->The Wheel->Dew and for an encore, Lovelight–the band actually played a song their fans liked for an encore, like a real band and everything.

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