Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Dammit, I Forgot The Rosicrucians

Maybe you’re in the Illuminati, ever think of that?

We know that the Illuminati began as the Cult of Set in ancient Atlantis. We also know that after sinking their homeland with Zeta Ray technology in their war with the Cenotaphic Expansion, that they went underground and spread throughout the world. These are the facts.

The Catholic Church, Putin, and rum-raisin ice cream are all Illuminati; this has been proven. Peyton Manning is a direct descendant of Adam Weishaupt; this has long been known. Bismarck, North Dakota, doesn’t really exist; scholars have agreed.

Distractions, all. The best trick the devil ever played–according to Kevin Spacey–was to convince man he didn’t exist. The best trick the Illuminati ever played was to convince you that you’re not one of them. If they’re as sneaky as people say, then surely they’re sneaky enough to pull that off.

That scar on your hand that you’re not sure how it got there? Illuminati.


  1. My high school took a field trip to the Rosicrucian museum. No lie

    California, baby.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      August 12, 2016 at 10:11 pm

      The Rosicrucians always get short shrift. They’re the Ringo of secret societies, the RC Cola of conspiracies.

  2. You’ve been readin foucaults pendulum by umberto Eco (r.i.p.)recently? Or should, It’s the acid test of conspiracy theories in a book.

  3. I figured out I was in after reading Robert Anton Wilson and Bob Shea’s Illuminatus Trilogy. Seeing as how everyone else was in it, I concluded I must be as well.

  4. Highlights in Turkey include the ancient city of Troy and the acropolis of Pergamum, the incredibly well-preserved city of Ephesus, and the surreal landscapes of Cappadocia. The Rosicrucians are a community of mystics who study and practice the metaphysical laws governing the universe.

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