What fresh hell is this?
The Dead live!
Not really.
If you squint your eyes, maybe.
No.
Yeah, no.
I reiterate: what?
The choogly-type band once again refuses to become fully defunct. The spirit of the Dead and several surviving members who are not Mrs. Donna Jean have drafted some ringers and booked Madison Square Garden for Halloween.
The Core Four?
They’re down to the Thirsty Three, it seems.
Phil?
Phil. In his defense, he announced his Halloween gig months ago and it sold out immediately.
He could’ve cancelled!
Sure, but he can do math. 1,800 seats X expensive-as-fuck tickets — Billy = show.
Will Mike Gordon be replacing him?
No, Mike wants nothing to do with this train wreck.
So, who’s playing bass?
Oteil Burbridge.
Oh.
He played bass for the Allman Brothers!
So did 45 other guys.
True, but he was in one of Billy’s short-lived bar bands.
I repeat my statement.
It is what it is.
Well, I’m sure he’s a motherfucker. I’m just looking forward to seeing Trey and Bruce’s musical relationship flourish.
And where will you be seeing that?
What now?
They will not be there.
Why not?
Well, it turns out that when you remove the guiding hand of Phil, the rest of them get ideas. Mickey has already coined the word “Deadtronica“.
Oh, God, no. None of that ever for the rest of time. Never no.
Right.
Who’s at Garcia?
You’ll like this: tonight, your starting Garcia…from the University of TMZ: John “White Mayonnaise” Mayer!”
Go fuck yourself.
Seriously.
Is it–
No, it’s not a different John Mayer. The one you’re thinking of.
…
Are they just, like, giving everyone a turn at Garcia?
Again: it is what it is. Also: this started as an FAQ. Please ask questions.
Can there ever be another sunny day?
Jeff Chimenti’s going to be there.
Well, that’s something you can bank on.
Jeff Chimenti delivers.
He’s like a pair of cocaine-covered tits.
Impressively more than the sum of his already-awesome parts?
Yup.
Yeah, okay.
The fact that Jeff Chimenti (dad) is going to be there makes it somewhat okay.
But this is making me frustrated. I’m sad and angry and I fucking hate John Mayer. Isn’t this what the Dead kind of despised?
This is going to turn a bunch of impressionable young women to a choogly-band which they were not meant to understand. I don’t care what anyone says. If you have to discover the Dead through John Mayer, then I feel bad. I’m sorry. I just can’t believe this fucking bullshit. I’m so upset. lol
R U HAPPY, GRATEFUL DEAD? U MADE SWAGGIE MAGGIE CRY
Says the old grizzled tour vet maggie
I know lol that’s actually exactly what I was going to say right after I posted this comment and I’m currently laughing at myself for not doing so
https://www.relix.com/news/detail/john_mayer_talks_going_to_grateful_dead_university_to_prepare_for_dead_company But look at this.
HE HEARD THEM ON PANDORA AND HAD “NO CULTURAL TIE-IN” AND MET WITH EM AND NOW THEYRE FUCKING PLAYING TOGETHER
And before when I said I was crying I was just mentally crying but right now I am actually crying (probably in part because I’m really exhausted from working camp all week; two days to go!) but also because this is just such bullshit. I wish I got to see the Dead :'( :'(
The dead I know despised money, selling out the Gardens, adoring crowds and especially impressionable young women.
Chronicironic does have a point, Mag.
AHAHAHAHA I KNOW IM BEING SO BACKWARDS ON ALL OF THIS BUT CMON THEY DIDNT START OUT THAT WAY
U KNO MY FAVE DEAD IS THE EARLY DEAD
my family is making fun of me and I KNOW that what I’m saying is not all true because they did chase money and girls like me but they weren’t John Mayer, the epitome of douchebaggery
None of us started out that way. Life is full of trade offs and compromises
Billy started that way
Tbh I think I’m just so exhausted that I can’t help myself RN
I actually think I’m more mad about this musically than I am monetarily or socially or whatever shit I’m going on about because I can’t even right now
lel
Yes Billy
BILLY IS COOL
JOHN MAYER IS NOT
Like fat kids and prop comics, he’s an easy target
Sorry I freaked out. I was legit sobbing for like 3 minutes lol
I don’t really know how to describe what I’m thinking about this situation but I know that I don’t like it because I hate John Mayer and I don’t think he’ll do a good job. It’s just a weird pairing. It’s not like he’s been playing psychedelic/jam rock tunes throughout his career. Yes, the Dead loved the $wag moneyz and the teenage girls and the sold-out stadiums, but from what I understand about them is that they didn’t always like that stuff. (Well, aside from the teenage girls.) I’m certainly not going to claim myself as being as well-informed and as educated as you folks. You’re all my elders and you experienced them in a different way than I did and I like being able to see from that perspective. I am most certainly also a giant n00b and can’t believe I said those things earlier but whatever, I was freaking out.
TL;DR
JOHN MAYER CAN KISS MY N00B ASS!
Ignore the “is” following “them”. Didn’t proofread.
http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/images/mayer_hate.JPG
you think Mayer is gonna ask if KP can come on stage for a bust out a “France?”
She’s doing the wail in Playing.
I, for one, would actually enjoy seeing that. At least it’s a recognition to the music we’ve all loved to the point of inanity.
“Jeff Chimenti delivers. He’s like a pair of cocaine-covered tits.”
As a musician I have always said you know you’ve made it when it’s cocaine across their naked breasts
John Mayer doesn’t know the meaning of the word “psychedelic”. That’s the root of the problem, y’all.
http://giphy.com/gifs/the-office-thank-you-michael-scott-1Z02vuppxP1Pa
“Deep/pure music” he calls it