Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Deep

tumblr_m9t3davvLA1ru818ao1_1280Those are my feelings.

How have you made it this long without someone beating you to death?

There is fear!

Fine. I have no sympathy, but that’s fine; you don’t need to be giving people nightmares with the pictures, though.

I AM PARALYZED WITH FEAR.

You’re typing.

EVERYTHING BUT MY FINGERS.

Deep breath, fancypants.

I don’t even know which pants to take!

How many pairs do you own?

That fit?

Yes.

One.

Everyone hates you for wasting their time.

My bed! And my things! My Beanie Babies need to be zhuzhed every day to keep them fresh!

Stop it.

I just bought bananas: I can’t go.

You’re going.

Yeah. Besides, it’s too late to come up with any sort of believable excuse.

Far too late.

You’re not allowed–

I could kill myself; I’ve done it before.

–to kill yourself. Stop it. It’s a drive and a Dead show and a chance to meet people and have fun and be a fucking human being. You used to do it all the time.

I didn’t use to be this scared all the time.

Fear is the mind-killer, man.

Please, no.

The small death that brings total annihilation.

Please not the bullshit about the giant sand-dicks.

You should let it wash over you-

Right.

and when it is gone

I wish I had a wrench to hit you in the eye with.

–only you shall remain. Look down your snobbish nose at good advice, but know this: the fucker sitting in that dark room is the frightened one; the man who gets in the car and points it towards the party is whoever you want him to be. Choose the new.

That’s actually great advice.

If you walk without rhythm, you won’t attract the worm.

The worm is fear?

The worm is fear, yeah, and the bit about the rhythm–

Doing something different, yeah.

is about doing…you got it.

48 Comments

  1. swaggiemaggie

    Mr. Dead, this is how I feel everyday of my life and yet I still manage to get by and maintain myself. You can too. Bring a friend (UM… ME) or let yourself eat whatever you want for the weekend and you will have a great time! Maybe you’ll meet the stone fox of your life. Who knows. Don’t be a baby

    • swaggiemaggie

      Also LSD that works too

      But I wouldn’t know

      Trust the other druggies

  2. Morning Douche

    I would suggest maybe just perhaps taking a pass on the LSD this weekend.

    Your pal,
    Morning Douche

  3. mrcompletely

    I know it’s some nerd shit but that Litany Against Fear seriously got me through the tunnel part of the darkest trip I ever had

    • thoughtsonthedead

      Oh, I made fun of it cuz I love it. If you need a mantra, it’s a god one.

      • swaggiemaggie

        Wait, can people even fucking read on LSD?

      • swaggiemaggie

        I imagine everything would suck super hard and it would be like you’re blind and deaf

        • thoughtsonthedead

          That is exactly what it’s like.

          Why do you think Pete Townshend wrote Tommy?

  4. Sir Luther Von Baconson

    stick with mushrooms and Banquet Beers. you’ll be fine.

    • Morning Douche

      With all due respect Sir Von Baconface, Banquet beer is awful. And by default, no Heeb should ever drink anything coming from someone named Adolph.

      • Sir Luther Von Baconson

        Old German?

    • jaygerland

      ^^^ this. And maybe some ether.

      • swaggiemaggie

        This is where I get completely lost and am totally okay w it drugs r bad u lozers

      • Reuben

        Maggie needs room in your Ford for her wharf rat pamphlets

      • Sir Luther Von Baconson

        yesssssss ether. and dave dudley on the 8 track.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdpf4nw5BzI

      • Rodeoamy

        Omg, I want to trip to Dave Dudley on the 8-track.

    • Reuben

      First eat the mushrooms then recite Litany against Fear, but change the word fear to say Benji, or Maggie May, or Dick Punch. That should quell your anxiety

  5. Adam O

    Might be reason to be fearful — According to a report on a bulletin board for enthusiasts of a certain other unnamed band, Phil and Billy were both sitting in the same section of the same plane en route to Chicago.

  6. Don Grossinger

    Who are you? Paul Muad Dib?

    • thoughtsonthedead

      I am the big telepathic vagina-whale that shows up at the end of the movie for some reason.

  7. swaggiemaggie

    Make a shirt that reads, “THOUGHTS ON THE DEAD: TOTALLY NOT A CHILD ABDUCTOR!” Or something of that nature.

    P.S. Happy 4:20

  8. swaggiemaggie

    Reblogged this on Post Tenebras Spero Lucem and commented:
    bless this blog

    • swaggiemaggie

      Why does everybody need 2 kno this wtf WordPress

      I liked ur post so much I reblogged it BIG DEAL I HAVE LIKE 11 FOLLOWERS AND I NEVER USE MY BLOG

  9. Sir Luther Von Baconson

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkwvcxSQPN0

    • swaggiemaggie

      Ok pls help was that w33d that she put in there

      I knew she couldn’t have made those without the pots but I’m confused

      IM A SQUARE

      • Sir Luther Von Baconson

        it’s Kale

        • maggiemay

          why was the kale in a prescription bottle HMMMM????????????

      • Sir Luther Von Baconson

        it’s Essence of Jim Kale (bass player). a tincture very hygroscopic in nature. hence the bottle.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oISIAYciNZU

      • maggiemay

        I’ll teach you all the young kid slang and modern youth attractions and you teach me musical history pre-1995. Deal?

      • Sir Luther Von Baconson

        sounds reasonable. though i like to think i’m Hella Hep to whatshakin-zee, dudener………how’s that?

      • maggiemay

        SOUNDS MEGA SWAG

      • Sir Luther Von Baconson

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHPrNCQQBvY

  10. dj5000000

    That’s why I love this blog. A Frank Herbert reference turns into a Mel Brooks. And I’ve never heard of Dave Dudley before today but now my life is more enriched. Still prefer the Taj Mahal version of 6 Days on the Road. Or the New Riders with Jerry.

    Damn, I miss Harvey Korman.

  11. Big O

    Safe travels and have fun…sure wish I was going to be part of the revelry this weekend.

    If you need somewhere to crash, come down, score some uppers or just say hello, my door’s always open here in the motor city…just remember, between the toes so nobody knows.

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