“Yeah, Oggie?”

“Your hair looks great.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s a compliment. I invented them this morning. How’d it make you feel?”

“Honestly? Warm inside. More secure in our friendship.”

“Thog, friendship is the best thing we’ve come up with so far.”

“Better than clothes?”

“Okay, second-best.”

“Because it was just so cold at night before we invented clothes.”

“True. So you liked the compliment thing?’

“I did. Is it just for hair?”

“No! That’s the great part. You could compliment someone on anything.”

“A smile?”

“That would be a perfect thing to compliment someone on.”

“A job well done?”

“Yes! You wanna try?”

“Sure. Um. Oggie, you’ve got a great penis.”


“It’s just lovely. Brings a smile to the cave.”


“What? You complimented my hair. I assumed all body parts were in the game.”

“My penis is not in the game. Plus I’m wearing my tunic. You can’t even see it.”

“It’s burned into my memory.”

“Can we talk about something else?”

“My penis?”


“Oh! Wait, I had something to tell you.”


“Not about penises.”


“I invented something this morning, too. Check this out: OOOOOOOooooooo AAAAwahwahLAAAAAAAA!”

“What the fuck was that?”

“I don’t know, man.”

“It was like you were talking, but…not.”

“Right? Sounded like a bird a little?”

“It was amazing.”

“You try, Oggie.”

“Okay. Harrumph! DOOOOOOoooooowahdiddydiddydumdiddydoooooooOOOOOOO.”


“That was good?”

“That was outrageous.”

“It felt a little pitchy, Thog.”

“You were in there. Your voice is as beautiful as your penis.”

“You need to stop with that.”

“This is the best thing we’ve invented since compliments! Let’s call it ‘fisting.'”

“Or ‘singing’ could be good, too.”

“Yeah, okay. We should form a group.”

“A capella? Ugh. So dorky.”

“Well, then we need to invent instruments, don’t we?”

“I got an idea.”

“Please don’t say piano.”

“Why not? I’ve always wanted to learn the piano.”

“Thog, look down.


“Now tell me: are you wearing shoes, or are there raw animal skins strapped crudely to your feet?”

“The second thing.”

“Yeah, that’s why we can’t have a piano.”


“Same answer.”


“We can do drums.”

“Double kick drums?”

“Let’s start with slapping our hands on rocks and build from there.”

“Dude, we’re in a band.”

“We gotta think of a name.”

“And then paint it on the rock.”