Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Dicks Billy Regrets Punching

  • All those children.
  • That guy with no arms: just not fair.
  • That guy with no dick: just not fun.
  • Susan B. Anthony.
  • Her slightly shittier twin sister, Susan B-Minus Anthony.
  • All the men on the Isle of Dogs.
  • All the dogs on the Isle of Man.
  • All the black guys on the Isle of Wight.
  • Scott Bakula.
  • Scott Dracula. (He starred in the Romanian remake of Quantum Leap.)
  • It was wrong to accept Benjy’s invitation to Thanksgiving dinner and then punch all the Eisens–including Bubbe and Zeydeh Eisen–in their dicks; Billy sees that now.
  • Dolphin.
  • Wrong to punch squid dick, and damn near impossible, too.
  • Caitlyn Jenner. (To Billy’s credit, he was unbelievably respectful about the whole thing, pretending that Caitlyn’s dick didn’t exist right up until the point he punched her in it.)


  1. “You miss 100% of the dick punches you don’t take”. – John Wooden

  2. Bonnie Lass of Fenario

    August 15, 2015 at 4:02 pm

    WALL! 2016




    • Bonnie Lass of Fenario

      August 15, 2015 at 4:07 pm

      Phil, what is that thing growing out of your shoulder.
      You should get it looked at.

      • True story. I made a guitar strap (inspired by Phil’s) with a strip of lambs wool. I wasn’t bad with simple leather making back in the day. Alas I had to stop using it. Just got too damn hot on the shoulder.

        Nice pick for a show. Listening to it now. 🙂

    • Thanks for the post! Ah, memories – I’m out there somewhere in the crowd on the 18th and 19th. I liked the floor at Winterland because I’m tall enough to see over almost anyone except Bill Walton.

  3. Welcome to my world. Its 90 degrees out and 50,000 Taylor Swift fans have descended upon my neighborhood for the second nite in a row at Levis stadium.

    Here she is last nite right before Billy mauled her×734-650×434.jpg

  4. Bonnie Lass of Fenario

    August 15, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    Phish is playing (soon I guess) less than 50 miles from me in DC, and I could give a flying fig except I’m missing the parking lot scene. How lame is that.

    I will enjoy this Bolivian Torch tea nonetheless.

    • Went to Dear Jerry, and the final 5 this summer.

      Dear Jerry at Merriweather had the best parking lot scene by far.

      I imagine the Phish scene for a two day run at Merriweather was/is pretty nice.

      Merriweather in the 80’s was sort of a police state, but it seems like it was more relaxed,

  5. Taperrob is streaming peach fest tonight.

    Willie Nelson will leave the stage and walk right into a BK dick punch as Billy takes the stage.

  6. Happy 70th to the man in the middle….

  7. “Dicks Billy Regrets Punching”

    As if…

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