“This Communistic fascism that is slowly creeping in…it’s a thing, it’s a real thing. Where will we be, tell me that? I want to live in a country of opportunity, where any child–black, white, whatever–can grow up to be a world-famous rhythm guitarist. That’s what the Founding Fathers wanted.
“The free market, son! That’s the way God intended it to be, even though He pretty much explicitly damns it in just about every book He ever supposedly wrote.
“Gonna get a shirt ike this in Moscow? Nosiree, Ivan! Even if you could, you’d have to wait in line for five hours and the shirt would be made out of beets and wearing it would get you labelled an enemy of the proletariat.
“Womb-to-tomb enswaddlement is what the Scandinavians offer: this is antithetical to the nature of man. In Norway, for example, when a baby is born, the family is provided with a large box that not only contains everything a baby requires for the first few weeks of life, but also becomes the baby’s crib when emptied. What kind of culture of dependency is that creating? Now every time that baby is born, it’s going to expect a box full of crap. That’s unsustainable.”
“Hi, I’m Bobby. Would you like to be distracted by my butt-chin or my chest hair?”