- George Washington can go fuck himself.
- Bald eagles are homos.
- Phantom Menace was the good one.
- I hate donuts! (Licks America.)
- British soldiers should be quartered in private homes.
- I intend on messing with Texas.
- People should give a cricket a chance.
- Pizza is to be eaten with a knife and fork.
- Something something black people.
- Communism works on paper.
- Jesus? Eh.
- We can really learn a lot from this year’s Eurovision winner.
- Maybe this July Fourth: something other than fireworks, huh?
- Third time’s the charm on Iraq.
- The greatest country in the world? Well, that doesn’t mean anything, man. Like: what’s the rubric on that one? We’re America, bro: good at some stuff, not-so-good at other stuff. We don’t take care of each other right and the bridges are crumbling, first of all. Gonna take a lot of people with a lot of love for their country a lot of years of a lot of hard work to effect a substantive and positive change, but we can do it. We’re motherfucking Americans, hombre: first Protestants on the moon. We can do whatever we want. But “greatest country in the world?” That’s not actually a thing.
- All Mexicans are arsonists.
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I comment on like almost every post bc I have no life
A smoldering volcano of stoopid under that toupee.
Donald Trump is the epitome of a fucking caveman.
Establishment of the Bureau Of Unicorn Combovers
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