Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Donald Trump Responds To Courses From Brown University

  • HIST 1969A Israel – Palestine: Lands and People. (“I can solve the whole thing over there. Ridiculous. You know: Jews, Palestinians, whatever. It’s land! I’m a real estate guy. I know land, I know deals. I could probably have the whole thing settled in a year. Under a year. More than six months. Under a year. Solved.”)
  • GRMN 1340R Literature and Multilingualism. (“I’m probably the most multilingual guy I know. Great at languages. When I was seven, I taught myself Finnish. I know the most languages. My wife, Melania, is a great beauty and knows five languages, but I know more. The amount of languages I speak goes up and down with how I feel. A good day could add a half-dozen languages. I’m great at talking in languages.”
  • GEOL 1240 Stratigraphy and Sendimentation. (“I banged Princess Diana. Before she died. Banged her. They all denied it. Whole family, not one of them with a job. All of my children work. No special treatment. I sexually harass Ivanka just like any other employee, but in my defense: she has great cans. Princess Diana had okay cans. Not active in bed. Very sad what happened. I banged her.”)
  • ENGL 0100V Inventing Asian-American Literature. (“I invented Asian-American literature. People don’t know that, and they call me racist. How can I be racist when I invented Asian-America literature? Fitting in. Mom showing love through cooking. All that crap. I invented it. I also banged Amy Tan. Cans were also just okay.”)
  • CLAS 0660 The World of Byzantium. (“The Byzantines love me. I am very popular with the Byzantines, despite having such a simple message.”)
  • INTL1802Q Iran and the Islamic Revolution. (“Why is the nuclear option off the table? How do you negotiate like that? Weak. Not saying I drop a nuke on Teheran. But Iran has to have other cities, right? Smaller ones? Maybe one of them. You think they wouldn’t nuke us? I go in there and say ‘The last guy’s deal is null and void’ and then I nuke a town. Much better deal.”)
  • ENGL 1900R Queer Relations: Aesthetics and Sexuality. (“Many homosexuals worked on The Apprentice, which made me a ton of money. $213 million from that show. Surrounded by homosexuals. Television business. Big success for me, and I wanted to keep doing it. Arnold’s gonna do it now. He’s gonna try. Good luck to him, because I still own a piece of the show. Actor. Politician. Businessman? I don’t know about that. Good luck to him.”)
  • JUDS 1630 The Talmud. (“People don’t know this, but I am a world-renowned Talmudic scholar. Many Talmudic scholars have asked for lessons, but there’s not enough money in it, even though the Jews have money. Not scholars, though. Poor. Dumb. Smart, but dumb. I’m the best at Talmud. Mishnah. Gemara. If you said ‘This rabbi said this,’ then i would say ‘But this rabbi said that.’ Best at Talmud.”)
  • COLT 1610E Crisis and Identity in Mexico 1519-1968. (“How about Mexico keeps their crisis in Mexico? Why do we get their crisis? Some of them come to work, I guess. Others come to murder. I have been told this by many very smart people: Mexicans love murder. Maybe it’s cultural. Maybe it’s genetic. Not all, not saying all. Some. Some Mexicans love murder. Maybe I’m not politically correct.”)
  • PHP 1070 The Burden of Disease in Developing Countries. (“I could turn any country around. Two years. Maybe three. Depends on the weather. A real loser country, too. Chad? How’s Chad doing? Chad. Two years.”)
  • HIST 1961I North Korea: Past, Present, Future. (“Un? Right? Un. Terrible name. Little fat kid. Real loser. What if something happened to him? Would you be upset? I wouldn’t be. We used to assassinate a lot of people. Now Russia’s doing all the assassinating. What happened to America?”)
  • HIAA 1811 Pre-Fabrication and Architecture. (“Princess Diana was very complimentary of my love-making. I gave her many orgasms. Couldn’t go public. Later on, she dated an Arab. I had her first, plus I’m still alive. Cans were just average. Gotta be honest. Just average cans.”)


  1. I don’t need Trump’s help. We are just fine.

  2. “If you said ‘This rabbi said this,’ then i would say ‘But this rabbi said that.’”

    This the entirety of Talmudic study

  3. I don’t know to laugh or cry. Instead:

    Garcia tears up “Dirty Business.” Nastiness.

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