• 30 For 30: Believeland, 2016. (“Cleveland’s gonna be fun. Big speech. The best speech. Who’s Hillary got? Pocahontas? I got champions. People want winners. They look at Washington and say, ‘Those aren’t winners.’ You ever see Mitch McConnell? Looks like a botched circumcision. Bad face. Terrible face. I got Mike Tyson. The champ! Lenny Dykstra’s coming. Don King is learning sign language. He’s gonna be the interpreter. We’ve got the best sign language interpreters.”)
  • Secrets of the Sphinx, 2013. (“Hosni Mubarak tried to sell me the Sphinx. Started with a rug. Ended with the Sphinx. That’s how Egyptians make deals. Tough negotiators, but I’m tougher. Had to walk away. They insisted that I hire locals. Whoa. How do I know what’s going on with these folks? Maybe they’re going to steal the Sphinx. I don’t know. That’s the thing: no one knows. Obama doesn’t know. Well, maybe he does know. Maybe Obama does know. After the Egyptians steal the Sphinx, maybe they come for the Statue of Liberty? Who knows?”)
  • 72 Dangerous Places, 2016. (“Anywhere near CrookedHillary. She has murdered many people. Very bad person. Awful. There’s a book called Hillary the Ripper: America’s Monster. Very good. Not as good as my books, which are very big sellers. It’s an unbiased look which we need. The media is very unfair. They don’t want to call Hillary a serial killer. I think they’re being politically correct. The Washington Post, which is a rotten paper that no one reads, has never called Bill Clinton a rapist on the front page. Who owns the Post? Look into that, and maybe you’ll figure it out.”)
  • The Forbidden Kingdom, 2008. (“I’m gonna throw China out of NATO. They’re eating us like dogs. Now they got aircraft carriers. You know where they got them? Crooked Hillary. We all know that Hillary has been spying for the Chinese for years. I’m gonna call her Manchurian Hillary. I thought her eyes looked like that because of how old and unattractive she was. Turns out she’s Chinese. When I beat Crooked Chinese Hillary, I’m gonna tear up all our deals with China and start over. Everything. Panda Express is out of the food court. Just until we know what’s going on.”)
  • Breaking Bad, 2008. (“The Clinton Foundation is a front for meth. I have seen video, personally seen with my eyes, Bill Clinton cooking meth. I know what I saw because I have the best eyes. Most men my age need glasses, but I can see very well. I can see that Obamacare is a disaster. Just a disaster. Millions of people have died as a direct result of Obamacare. Some of them exploded. That’s how bad Obamacare was. First day. Gone. The China thing and the Obamacare. Big day.”)
  • The Money Pit, 1986. (“My inauguration is gonna be huge. Best one there’s ever been. We might have it in Palm Beach. January in Washington? C’mon. We’re gonna have Kid Rock sing the Anthem. We could do it on the golf course. Tenth hole is flat. Best tenth hole you’ve ever seen. Speaking of the tenth hole and Kid Rock, he once told me ‘Mr. Trump. your golf course has the best tenth hold I’ve ever seen.’ And I said, ‘Yeah, it’s the best.’ True story. Mike Tyson’s doing the benediction. We’ll have some other blacks, too. Iron Mike. The champ.”)
  • Yindi the Last Koala, 1996, (“Ever notice that Crooked Hillary never renounces Satan in public? Not once. All these years in public life, and not once. It could be that Hillary Clinton worships the devil. We know that she is a secret Muslim as well as Obama, but maybe she’s a Satanic Muslim? Last time Evil Hillary went to Saudi Arabia, they threw many homosexuals off buildings in her honor. Very bad person.”)
  • The Hunt with John Walsh, 2014. (“John Walsh. Gets things done. Son was kidnapped. Killed. Sad. Where was Hillary? Why has she never publicly stated that she did not murder John Walsh’s son? Maybe the evidence was on that e-mail server, and now China has it? How many children has China paid Crooked Hillary to murder? Nothing about this woman is acceptable. We need to take our country back like the British. You’re not allowed to murder children there. Why can you do it here?”)
  • Animaniacs, 1993. (“I’m gonna imprison all the Muslims, but it’s just temporary. We need new Muslim paperwork. There’s none. None at all. If you show at an American airport and say ‘I’m Muslim,’ then you get let in. No questions asked. That’s how the Orlando shooter got in the country. Lock them up, just for a little bit. We let out the safe ones. Really old. Really fat. Crippled. Babies. Maybe we take the babies and raise them right? Except then you maybe have sleeper agents. Many people have told me that it’s in the blood with these people.”)
  • Apocalypse: The Second World War, 2009. (“Crooked Hillary is gonna start World War Three. Crooked Hillary, the Chinese, the Muslims, and the Saudis are gonna take your guns and start a war. And the Mexicans. Many people have forgotten about the Mexicans, who are rapists, but I haven’t. The Mexicans rape more than Bill Clinton, and Bill Clinton rapes on an average of twice a day. Three in the summer. Crooked Hillary is gonna kill you, and Rapin’ Bill is gonna rape your wives and daughters. Not a great family. I have a much better family. My daughter Ivanka is much hotter than Whats-her-face. Terrible parents.”)