• “Robert A. Caro’s The Power Broker: Robert Moses and the Fall of New York,” Shwarzman Building. (“Robert Moses was a winner. Got things done. This is a neighborhood? Now it’s a highway. He built. Great man. Did not change New York as much as I did. Never built an ice skating rink. My ice skating rink is the best in the world.”)
  • “Black Suburbia from Levittown to Ferguson,” Shomburg Center. (“Crooked Hillary thinks she has a lot of blacks, but I have many blacks. The media is very unfair to me. The other day at my rally, which was packed, we had to turn people away, I pointed out one. I said, ‘There’s my black,’ and the media starts in with racist this and that. Very unfair. Was I supposed to not mention my black? By the way, not only do I have many blacks, but I have the best blacks. High-quality blacks. I don’t know what kind of blacks Hillary has. Looking for a hand-out? Not my blacks.”)
  • “The Not-Seen Ubiquitous: Visual Works by Tony Janetti,” Mulberry Street Library. (“I would be comfortable with an Italian judge. That’s white enough. I’d prefer a real white, but an Italian is okay. In fact, I have many Italian-American friends. I have the best mob ties you’ve ever seen. You should see my Rolodex. Fat Sally. Tony the Camel. Vinnie Two-Knees. New York is a tough town. You have to make friends, and I am very good at making friends.”)
  • “A Glimpse of Southeast Asia: Pictures by Jack McDougle, St. Agnes Library. (“A glimpse is enough. More than enough. They”ll come to me. When I’m President, there’s not going to be a lot of traveling. Maybe Russia. Philippines looks promising lately. Otherwise, they come here. I’ll give them a discounted rate at a Trump property. Let’s be honest: that’s probably nicer than where they live, most of them. Saudis have very classy hotels, and they know how to provide service. Otherwise, they come here.”)
  • “Magical Designs for Mozart’s Magic Flute,” Library for the Performing Arts. (“Reporters need to be careful. They’re very unfair and they need to be careful. I’m going to do something about it. Shouldn’t be allowed to be unfair. Sleazy tactics. The American people want to make America great again, and they want to build a wall. But some people just want to lie about Trump. Not all of them are Jews, but some are. Unfair!”)
  • “Original Arts & Crafts by Marion L. Hughes, Allerton Library. (“I am great at arts and crafts. Popsicle stick. Pipe cleaner. I build log cabins, birdhouses. The best birdhouses. And there’s never glue running down the sides. I always use the correct amount of glue. Great at gluing. Many people have complimented me on my skills with glue. Lanyards, too. I can do box stitch. Cobra. Many people can’t do the corkscrew stitch right, but I can. No one does arts and crafts like me.”)
  • “Paintings: Cesar Santana,” Inwood Library. (“Mexicans can paint. Excellent painters. Give one a ladder and a pair of overalls and he does the whole house. Two coats. Great painters. Art? Okay. Is that art here legally? If it’s here legally, then I have no problem with it. But we don’t know. Does the art work for a cartel? Maybe it hits white women with bricks? Can’t trust that art. Sorry to say. Can’t trust it.”)
  • “Queer Book Diorama Gallery,” Jefferson Market Library. (“I don’t know what’s with the bathrooms. Leave it to the states. Does the federal government even have the authority to overrule the states? States know what’s best. I have many gay friends. I have the gayest friends, but I have to say that I’m for traditional marriage. I have had three traditional marriages, all successes. Marriage is defined in the Bible as between a man and the best Eastern European catalog model he can afford. I’m a big Bible guy.”)
  • “Sprout City by Lynn Koble, Inwood Library. (“I would accept a lady judge. Three weeks out of the month, lady judge is fine. Mexican is out. Chinese is out. Muslim judge? We have any of those? That’s gonna change. For now, though? No. Muslim judge isn’t going to be fair. I’m just talking common sense here. Jewish judge is fine, unless he’s on Twitter. That might get ugly. Black judge might be all right. I mean: good black or bad black? Again: this is common sense.”)
  • “John Lloyd – Parks and Neighborhoods of New York,” Mulberry Street Library. (“Best time to go to war with the Arabs is Ramadan. Haven’t eaten all day, so they’ll be weak. People forget I went to a military academy. Very strategic thinker. I look forward to commanding America’s armed forces. Gonna be fun.”)