Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Donald Trump Responds To The Proust Questionnaire

  • What is your idea of perfect happiness? (“I am very happy. I might be one of the happiest people you’ve ever met. The media, which is very unfair to me, never reports on how happy I am. I beat all my opponents, seventeen of them, beat them like dogs. That made me very happy. You see what I did to Christie? Made him stand there onstage, didn’t make him vice-president. He begged. Begged. Big meeting, lots of people. Begs me for the job. I made him do the Truffle Shuffle. Right there in front of everyone, and I was very happy then.”)
  • Which living person do you most admire? (“Me. Okay? Me. Gotta be me, and I’ll tell you why. Who did what Trump did? Whole party against me, not like Crooked Hillary. Everything rigged, rigged for Crooked Hillary. No matter what she does, who she kills. Hillary Clinton chopped the head off that priest in France, and she gets more delegates. Hillary kidnaps Bernie Ecclestone’s mother-in-law, and still the DNC rigs things for her. When did Bloody Hillary commit her first murder?”)
  • What is your favorite occupation? (“Businessman. Builder. President, okay? President. I’m not giving up the real estate when I’m in the White House. Gonna make some deals just to stay sharp. Practice for Putin, who I have never met and know nothing about. I know he respects me. I know that. I can deal with Putin, of course I can. If he wants Poland, then maybe we can discuss that. I have recently sold many condos to Russians at enormous prices because I am a great businessman and no other reason. Also, they should have never let David Brinkley out of jail.”)
  • Which living person do you most despise? (“I don’t despise anyone. But I do despise Anthony Weiner. Bad guy. Really bad guy. Can’t keep it in his pants. His wife is a terrorist, but that’s no excuse. So they put him in a room and say ‘Don’t take it out, Anthony,’ and he can’t help himself. Weird guy. And his wife, who is a Radical Muslim Terrorist, is laying there. What are they talking about? Guy can’t get a job. Maybe he’s selling secrets to the Chinese. Probably the Chinese. First name’s Anthony, but he’s not Italian. Weiner.”)
  • Where would you most like to live? (“Trump Tower. Best location in the city. Greatest tenants in the world. Sheikhs. Russians. Over 300 Hispanics work at Trump Tower, and also many blacks. They love me. I see them in the halls. ‘Hey, Mr. Trump.’ ‘Thank you, Mr. Trump.’ They love me. Look me right in the eye. Some people don’t like that, but I allow my Hispanics and blacks to look me in the eye when they thank me. I also have many Hispanics at Mar-A-Lago, but I think they’re a different kind than the ones in Trump Tower. Still the best. Legal, okay? I have the best Hispanics.”)
  • Who are your favorite writers? (“My book The Art of the Deal has been optioned to turn into a Netflix series. Gonna be great. They made a movie out of Crooked Hillary’s book, too. Called it The Terminator because that’s what she’s going to do to the country. This TPP, it’s gonna kill us. Bad deal. Many people don’t know this, but the TPP grants China the rights to Christmas. We’re not gonna have Christmas anymore. China’s got it. I got the biggest bank in China in the Trump Tower. Made a good deal with them on the lease. I won that deal. They bowed very low. Did not give them Christmas.”)
  • What is the quality you most like in a woman? (“Face, then boobs. Then, ass. All important. Got a great face, but you’re a pig? C’mon. Sloppy? C’mon. My wife Melania, who is acknowledged as one of the great beauties, has all three. Face, boobs, ass. Great. People mostly know her as a great beauty, and one of the most successful models in the world, but she has quite a brain. Great brain, best brain. Speaks five languages. Many college degrees. Taught particle physics for three years, won many physics awards. Melania was very successful at physics. I mean, five languages? Wow. Crooked Hillary speaks one language, and that’s murder. Tom Kaine spoke Spanish the other night. Pandering!”)
  • What do you most value in your friends? (“I hope Russia has infiltrated our national security system. That would be great. Maybe then we’d learn the truth about Crooked Hillary, and why she planted a bomb on the Space Shuttle Challenger. I have heard that she did that. I have retweeted that theory several times. How about bugs? Bug Hillary’s office? Isn’t that the patriotic thing to do? If Russia bugs Crooked Hillary’s office, then when I’m president, I’ll give Russia a medal. Medal of Freedom. Valor. Liberty. The best medal.”)
  • What is the trait you most deplore in others? (“Lying. The worst. This Tim Kaine, who is maybe the worst vice-presidential pick in history, an embarrassment: this guy’s a liar. Says he didn’t do an awful job as governor of New Jersey. Not true! Very bad governor of New Jersey. And the Spanish. Is Tim Kaine here legally? That’s a valid question. Maybe not politically correct, but only I can keep America safe by asking if Tim Kaine is an Mexican rapist. He speaks Spanish like a Mexican rapist. The media doesn’t ask him about that, or whether his children have all joined ISIS, which they have.”)
  • What or who is the greatest love of your life? (“You have to love yourself. Very important. America doesn’t love itself anymore because Obama is such a weak man. Russians love their country because Putin, who I have never met, is strong. Obama is terrible. Obamacare has killed almost as many people as Radical Islamic Terrorism and Black Lives Matter. Very dangerous. Obamacare will go to your aunt’s house and beat her with a stick. I want to help the aunts of America, but Obama likes to hit them with a stick. Wow.”)
  • What is your most treasured possession? (“Mike Pence. Great pick. I made probably the best vice-presidential pick in history. Mike Pence, Illinois, great. Straight-shooter. The media, the rigged media, they say ‘John Kasich says this, John Kaisich says that,’ but I never talked to John Kasich. Never even met the man. Talked to him so long ago. My son talked to him. One of those. Starts talking, Kasich, about ‘Trump offered me co-president.’ C’mon. John Kasich is a very nice guy, but he’s a proven loser and everyone hates him. Beat him like a dog many times in the primaries. Saw him backstage at the debates. Wouldn’t use the urinal. Just the stall. That’s the truth.”)

1 Comment

  1. Luther Von Baconson

    July 28, 2016 at 7:14 am

    donald digs Deano

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