Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Donald Trump Responds To The Top Ten Grossing Films Of 1994

  1. Forrest Gump. (“Forrest was a business man. That’s what we need in this country. China’s got Forrest Gumps out the ass. Run here. Run there. We don’t run anymore. Jenny died of AIDS, but the kid wasn’t retarded. Bittersweet ending.”)
  2. The Lion King. (“If a lion ate Trump Steaks, it would be the real king of the jungle. What’s a lion eating? Gazelle? What’s a gazelle? Weak deer. No good. You need steak. Trump Steak.”)
  3. True Lies. (“Arnold is a good friend. Been my guest at many of my properties. Humped many maids at Mar-A-Lago, but also many attractive women. Married for power. I married for looks. Don’t need more power. On many occasions, Arnold remarked on my power. He did it in that accent. I can’t do it. You know how it goes.”)
  4. The Santa Clause. (“Love Tim Allen. Good friend. Great guy. Smart. Love Tim Allen. Made mistakes. Love Tim Allen.”)
  5. The Flintstones. (“Many of the people who made that movie the number five grossing film of the year are now voting for me. Most. Probably most.”)
  6. Dumb And Dumber. (“You’re expecting me to make a joke about Little Marco and Teddy here. I’m not going to do that, even though they are very dumb men. Just not bright. Great educations. Didn’t take.”)
  7. Clear And Present Danger. (“Tom Clancy is one of the best American writers. Hands down. Nobody describes submarines better. Is he dead? If he is, I was very sad when he died.”)
  8. Speed. (“A lot of people say I remind them of a bus with a bomb on it. I can’t slow down. Hillary’s pretty slow. Bernie? C’mon. Commie turtle. I go fast. Speed.”)
  9. The Mask. (“Cameron Diaz. Banged her. She’ll deny it. Banged her.”)
  10. Pulp Fiction. (“I hope no one rapes any blacks at any of my rallies. Shouldn’t happen. Not good for anyone. Sometimes things happen. People get excited at my rallies.”)

1 Comment

  1. List of words/humans DMT hasn’t used/demeaned (yet):

    Goobers.

    Pickaninnies.

    Pollocks.

    Fudgepackers

    Toadlickers.

    Cocksuckers

    Retards. (Also, pricktards and libtards.)

    Niggers.

    Honkies.

    “Fatso.” (We’re not 100% sure of this one.)

    “Baby mama.” (Also, ghetto scum, thugista.)

    “Scrotum face.” (Also, pizza face, pineapple face.)

    Caitlyn.

    Phish.

    “Fruitcake.”

    G-d.

    Dolphin fuckers.

    Tree huggers.

    Grommets. (Also, gremmies, kooks, haoles, and goofy footers.)

    Spics.

    Kikes.

    “Spaz.”

    “Putz.”

    “Roscoe.”

    “Otis.”

    “Guido.”

    Chinks. (Also, slant-eyes, flat-face.)

    “Slowhand.”

    Wetbacks.

    Jew haters.

    Jew lovers.

    Papists.

    https://youtu.be/WninWFtO0Gg?t=1m

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