No one would blame me for slapping a “Look at this bullshit right here” on this sumbitch and moving on. Who could blame me for not wanting to spend time with whatever that bullshit is right there?
Make no mistake: that is some bullshit right there.
But TotD is dedicated to providing you, the loyal Enthusiast, with comprehensive coverage of every 25-year-old photo of a defunct choogly-type band there is.
The temptation is towards reductionism, of separating the bad from the terrible from the unholy from the damned. (There is no “good” here. There is not even “acceptable” here.) This would fail the gestalt, and if there’s anything the gestalt hates worse than being failed, it’s being used vaguely incorrectly by people trying to sound smart.
No, this is the wrong approach: Phil, here, is to be viewed as a piece, holistically. With this in mind, Thoughts on the Dead presents Things Worse than Phil’s Appearance:
- Holocaust (Jewish)
- Holocaust (Armenian)
- Holocaust (Ewok)
- Holocaust (Any I have missed)
- Certain cancers (Face, dick, asshole)
- Global economic collapse
- Shitting yourself during an audience with the Pope.
- The Pope getting turned on by it.
- Spanish flu of 1919-20
- Dead astronauts