Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Dragon, No Matches

I can admit when I’m wrong and I may have prejudged this Greek Theater show from ’82 recommended by Robin Russell. It is skittery and Bobby starts playing some truly weird nonsense during the transition. (Bobby is very loud in the mix and you can hear his spiky accents push the song forward.) This disappoints me slightly, as I had hoped to make fun of this S>F and, obviously, Robin. She lives someplace that I could make fun of for thousands and thousands of words, but: no. She had to pick a killer.

Animals This Scarlet>Fire Could Defeat In Unarmed Combat:

  • Any domestic cat.
  • Snake under ten feet, non-venomous.
  • If on land, any fish.
  • If in the water, some fish.
  • This Scarlet>Fire could kill a penguin with its bare hands in seconds.
  • The majority of dogs; obviously, it can’t defeat one of those SEAL Team Six dogs with the titanium teeth.
  • Most dogs wouldn’t even need to be defeated: they would just submit to the S>F immediately, and then ask for belly rubs.
  • A lady deer of any size.
  • A turtle, I suppose.
  • But what would “defeating” a turtle look like?
  • Flipping it over on its back?
  • This Scarlet>Fire is mighty, not a psychopath.
  • Or a replicant.
  • Do not flip turtles on their backs.
  • If they try to fight you, you may then defeat them, but they will not try to fight you because they are turtles.
  • This Scarlet>Fire could defeat (unarmed, I remind you) all normal-sized lizards.
  • This Scarlet>Fire could not defeat a Komodo dragon.
  • Komodo dragons will fuck your ass up.
  • The least powerful weapon you should have when dealing with a Komodo dragon is a minigun.
  • That’s the machine gun that goes BRAAAAAAAP that the Army straps to the side of helicopters and Jesse Ventura strapped to his side in Predator.
  • If the Scarlet>Fire from 5/23/82 could catch a squirrel, then it could defeat that squirrel.
  • Squirrels are tough as shit to catch.

30 Comments

  1. Well, I just play tapes in my mind, which maybe doesn’t count. I recall the year before, September 12, 1981. Possibly because May 29 ’82 was Sunday afternoon, but Sep 12 ’81 was Saturday twilight, and Scarlet>Fire opened the second set just as it got dark. At the Greek, that was really something. Nonetheless, I assure you Jerry burned it up, my own feelings and the dramatic setting aside.

    Pay old fogies no mind. Carry on.

  2. Clarification: she is a he.

    There are other Greek Fires that give this one a run for its money. 12 Sept 1981, 16 June 1985 and 15 July 1988.

    The Oracle Pythia, who worked for Apollo at Delphi, predicted a box set of Scarlet Fires, curated and annotated by ToTD.

  3. Ballsiest Me & My Uncle you’ll ever see:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k6OYIvLLcA

  4. 5/23/82 at the Greek … I don’t remember Scarlet/Fire from that show. I don’t remember anything they played. All I remember is this girl, all the way on the other side of the bowl. Short, cute, and topless with an incredible set of melons. Her dance moves mostly consisted of jumping and bouncing.

    I saw her again at the Frost show a few months later. This time she was braless under a peasant blouse, but her moves were unmistakable. When she caught me looking at her, which happened a few times, she gave me a little smile as if to say, “Enjoying the show?” Yes, I was.

    Did I speak to her? Did I introduce myself and ask her to dinner after the show? I did not. I was there with my wife.

    I’d love to find some pics of her from that Berkeley show. I wonder where she is now. 33 years later, I have a pretty good idea where the melons are.

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