“Thoughts on my Ass!”

I like how that nickname has stuck.

“It’s cause you think about my ass, Ass.”

Great. Whatcha doing?

“Getting out the vote. It’s important that young people something something politics something voices heard something something.”

Passionate about causes as ever, Billy.

“Eh, fuck it: their check cleared, I’ll hold up their sign. Plus, I don’t want Bobby’s sister-in-law on my lawn with a sign and a bullhorn again.”


“I used to own four or five killer whales.”


“Hungry fuckers. Wouldn’t believe the amount of oats they went through.”

Oats? Killer whales don’t eat oats. They’re carnivores.

“Nah. Oats are fine. They’re just like horses.”

Not at all.

“That’s why people call killer whales ‘the horses of the sea.'”

You’re thinking of seahorses.

“Either way: they’re all dead now.”


“Pound sign go vote!”