Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Dulcimer Rain

IMG_2054Bruce Hornsby plays every nerd instrument. Musical device that won’t get you laid? Bruce can wail on that sumbitch.

Uncool instruments Bruce Hornsby plays:

  • Piano. (Piano players are universally dorky. Good people–they’re the only category of player from a rock band you would allow in your home–but all of them play D&D. Jerry Lee Lewis excepted: the Killer ain’t no nerd, boy.)
  • Dulcimer.
  • Zither.
  • Autoharp.
  • Washtub bass.
  • Jug.
  • Human beatbox (If you are not Doug E. Fresh, you do not look cool doing the human beatbox routine.)
  • Keytar.
  • One of those hideous electric violins that looks like you got it out of Pinhead’s sex toy drawer.
  • These monstrosities:
  • Image result for electric violin
  • That was clearly made to shove up a demon’s ass for the purposes of sexual release.
  • Bruce Hornsby cannot play the regular bassoon, but can rock out on the contrabassoon.
  • Ditto the baritone sax.
  • Spoons.
  • Bruce is also adept at certain forms of harmony singing, most notably a capella and barbershop quartet.
  • He has also been known to play the accordion.


  1. Doug.E.Fresh is dope yo……..seriously

  2. bruce man rocks. nerd instruments notwithstanding, bruce saved the Dead shows right after Brent died…

  3. …and he is wonderful to see with the Merymakers….as we did in August after the Dead50 shows in Chi-town…

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