Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Eight Thoughts About Heroes

ONE

David Bowie held a microphone in the most British way he could think of.

TWO

It’s not a riff. Riffs are chunky, and they stop and start. It’s a line.

WOOOOOOOOwaaaaaWEEEEEEEwooooo.

Robert Fripp played it on the record, which makes sense. It’s not music a human would come up with.

THREE

Every band should have a half-naked Puerto Rican playing percussion while dancing like his dick’s on fire. Shit, everything should have a half-naked Puerto Rican playing percussion while dancing like his dick’s on fire : Little League games, funerals, appendectomies.

FOUR

He changed the words around, or maybe the song changed its own words around.

These are the first lines from the recorded version:

I…I wish you could swim
Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim
Though nothing, nothing will keep us together

But a few years later, he started singing this verse first:

You…you can be mean
And I…I’ll drink all the time.
Cause we’re lovers, and that is a fact

The second way’s better.

FIVE

Essay Question #1: Compare and contrast Heroes to Queen’s We Are The Champions.

SIX

Best part: false ending. (The false ending is the best part of any song with a false ending. Old tricks get to be old because they always work.)

Second-best part: WHAT’D I SAY? I SAID IIIIIIIIIIIIIII…

SEVEN

I could be king.
And you could be my queen.

And just for one day, at that.

It’s a sad song. All of the best songs are secretly sad.

EIGHT

I won’t mention the “FEED THE WORLD” sign in between the Pepsi and Kodak ads if you won’t.

17 Comments

  1. JES

    That’s a good one . . . but I think the ’78’s are the best ones. He still had the awesome Murray-Davis-Alomar rhythm section, plus Adrian Belew, Roger Powell (Utopia) and Simon House (Hawkwind). Aces.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Sq6_NVrKes

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      The ’78 is spectacular, but I thought the sound was the best on this one.

      There’s also a version from Glastonbury that’s superb, but tragically interspliced with a ton of old footage of British hippies.

  2. Dawn

    does this signal the beginning of a david bowie tear? i really really hope so!

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      This was set off by JamOn playing Widespread Panic’s version this afternoon while I was in the car; the song is so damn good that even WP couldn’t destroy it.

  3. JES

    P.S. I saw what you did there in Thought Number Two . . .

  4. Tor Haxson

    Maybe not the best version of heroes, but the Ian hunter, Mick Ronson, David Bowie set at Freddie Mercury tribute was inspiring

  5. Tor Haxson

    Instead of a Bowie round perhaps you should do a Fripp round, lots of ridiculousness in and around Mr Fripp.

    • The Central Shaft

      Seconded. I’ve been on a pre-74 King Crimson tear and could use this immensely.

      ToKC, anyone?

    • Joe B

      Yes, a Fripp round. But I have to say, in spite of what ever might be said a Fripp, he really is a decent and down to earth guy.

      Yeah, I know that’s probably hard to believe, but I swear it’s true. This doesn’t mean he can’t easily be poked at in jest, there’s plenty there.

    • The Central Shaft

      A teaser: Fripp gave Bill Bruford a writing credit on an improv track on which he chose to lay out entirely, since Fripp deemed the decision so essential to the final product.

  6. Thomas Wilkinson

    GD tour. Bowie’s Heroes drops, no one else knew, think it’s released. No $, hungry, barely alive, same old. Car radio, Heroes, friend poking round car, sees good coin 5 I’d say, “We could eat heroes, just for one day”! Not Sad. Not British. NYC guys, Queens, so it’s heroes, not subs, hoagies, vateva oy. DHWA. Straight outa SoJam. Racist section. NYPD NYFD. Uecker block, Teacher’s Union, liberal but no libtards, Kennedy Irish, Cuomo Italian, “Smart” Jews. Democrats. Yes, finest and bravest Democrats too. So my children, Democrat Party not an illusion, NFW Republican, or rich loudmouth 45.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      COTD

      • Thomas Wilkinson

        MOTD

  7. Joe B

    What the heck? A keyboard imitating Fripp? What, they couldn’t afford an e-bow or something? Weird.

  8. John

    Heard King Crimson in Red Bank Sunday night.

    They are doing Heroes.

    Sounded very nice.

  9. Luther Von Baconson

    lots of people eating while listening to Bowie, but unable to find buddy eating a Hero while listening to Heroes…..sorry

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oakxhiEnW-c

  10. Elise Sullivan

    I’m pretty excited about the Bowie and Queen recordings.
    https://amp.theguardian.com/music/2017/jul/13/david-bowie-recorded-songs-with-queen-that-never-got-released

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