Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Elvis v. Nixon: Dawn Of Justice

“WHO YOU THINK’D WIN, NIX: BATMAN OR SUPERMAN?”

“I try not to engage in hypotheticals.”

“WE AIN’T TALKIN’ ‘BOUT NO HYPERTENTACLES, MAN. BATMAN AN’ SUPERMAN. WHO YOU GOT?”

“We should be concentrating on more important subjects, Elvis.”

“MORE IMPORTANT? AIN’T NOTHIN’ MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHO’D WIN ‘N A SUPERHERO FIGHT.”

“Elvis, son: you must bear down. We have a, uh, delicate task ahead of us. Time travel-assisted cross-reality political intervention is quite a row to hoe. We must focus.”

“Jesus, man. Fine. Does Batman have time to prepare?”

“COURSE HE DOES, NIX. AIN’T MUCH OF A FIGHT OTHERWISE.”

“What about Kryptonite? Does, uh, the Batman possess this materiel?”

“UH-HUH.”

“And which one is being advised by Nixon?”

“SCUSE ME?”

“Well, what I ask is: are they being their usual infantile selves, or can I plan the battle?”

“LESS HEAR YOU TAKE A WHACK AT IT, NIX.”

“Yes, right. If I am, uh, Superman, then I use my super-vision and eyebeams to incinerate Batman from a hundred miles away. Alternately, I might fly through him at Mach 6, but I believe the smart course of action is to stay as far from Batman as possible. Were I standing next to Batman when the fight began, I would immediately leave the area. Now that I say it all out loud, I think that flying through him is not going to work. Just adds too many variables.”

“KEEP GOIN’, MAN.”

“And, uh, if I were Batman and needed to kill Superman, then I would remember that I’m Batman, and therefore a genius, and I would figure out a way to talk Superman into committing suicide.”

“WHAT TH’ FUCK, NIX?”

“That’s war, son. That’s politics. That’s Nixon.”

“YOU A GOOD AMERICAN, MISSER PRESIDENT.”

“And you, Elvis. And you. Now, uh, let’s stop wasting our time on silly bullshit and discuss our plan to time travel to the year 2017 and overthrow the American government.”

“YESSIR.”

13 Comments

    • Luther Von Baconson

      January 15, 2017 at 12:39 pm

      sexy

      • Took the kids skiing at Brimacombe (Mt.Kirby for the older enthusiasts), saw what looked like Elvis skiing…..no Nixon though.

        • Luther Von Baconson

          January 16, 2017 at 11:41 am

          used to be a Guy in the West End of Vancouver. old short Guy, dressed as Elvis. he’d walk along the beach with a boom box and sing along to it. he rigged up a mike so it was like a Terrible Mobile Kroakee. he never sang Elvis though. his signature song was Behind Closed Doors. one of those rare Guys who changes your life. God love ’em.

          ♫No one knows what goes on behind………THOSE DOOORRRRRRSSSSSS!♫

  1. Time to focus on the yearly marketing plan perhaps?

    As a previous customer, and also someone who has purchased CID VIP tickets you should have datamined me enough to know that yes of course I would buy multiple orders of the following.

    A black short with just the word Choogle, a cap with just the word Choogle.

    The phrase:
    Choogly: A certain type of music popularized by a semi defunct band…

    Or the word Choogly with a copyright symbol, or a footnote symbol with a reference to ToTD.com

    A shirt with a black and white picture of Little Alepo’s main street.

    Highway 77 shirt.

    Highway 77 book.

    We know you could knock that thing out if you quit reading comics, seeing movies and watching football.

    The Snake shirt, remake the snake shirt, I would buy so many of them.

    That’s all for now, others should have opinions.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      January 14, 2017 at 9:57 pm

      I do need to get off my ass about that; you’re absolutely right, and these are good ideas. Thank you.

    • NoThoughtsOnDead

      January 15, 2017 at 11:09 am

      “That’s all for now, others should have opinions.” It sounds to me like Tor’s on the Marketing Committee. Cap, short, or shirt with “Choogle” would be popular, especially with the right sub-headline.

  2. Robert Hernandez

    January 14, 2017 at 9:54 pm

    This should be a movie. I mean other than in my head.

  3. Luther Von Baconson

    January 15, 2017 at 12:41 pm

    Save us Dick & Elvis

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