Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Everything Sucks And I Hate It And It’s Awful

My learning process involves setbacks, Enthusiasts. Missteps and missed cues and misinformation; I have believed the dumbest shit for the longest times. The path of progress is not a straight and easy trail.

But I didn’t think buying headphones would be so difficult, or require so much effort, and end in such disappointment. I had no clue of all the accusing I would have to do; you click the button, you wait a few days, you have new and shiny Sony headphones that come with a pouch made of authentic leatherette. That’s how it’s supposed to work.

They’re not supposed to hurt your ears.

Why, Sony? Why would you make headphones I can’t wear? Did the boys in Unit 731 develop this item just to see what would happen? My left ear fell off, you assholes. Happy? Is this about the Hiroshima thing? Obama doesn’t apologize and you break my ear? That doesn’t seem fair, Sony.

Why, David Lemieuxncieindiana? Why would you wear something that did not fit my skull? I assure you that my head is normally shaped, so it must be surmised that you have a freakish skull, and hid it cleverly in that video. Why would you do that? You are a role model, David, and have led people to believe you know how to pick things. “Hi, I’m Dave and I’m good at picking things.” That’s you. That’s what you sound like, and now I have to print out goddamn return labels and all this bullshit and my life is a nightmare.

Why, Enthusiasts? Why were you not more vociferous in your recommendations? How could you not foresee this calamity and wave me away from the rocks? Why didn’t one of you just do it for me?

To sum up: this is everybody’s fault but mine. Apologies will be accepted via the Donate Button.

ps I’m not saying they sound bad–quite the opposite–or that you wouldn’t like them, but my ears are the wrong size or in the wrong place or set at the wrong angle for these ‘phones. Maybe your noggin is compatible with them, but mine isn’t.

12 Comments

  1. Fwiw, I got myself a pair of Sennheiser HD-449.. they sound good and they’re quite easy on both the wallet and the skull

  2. thoughtsonthedeadsbrother

    June 2, 2016 at 8:34 pm

    God forbid you just wear the handmade in Brooklyn Grado headphones I bought you…god forbid.

    • The Central Shaft

      June 2, 2016 at 8:39 pm

      Ooh, burn. I was gonna recommend Grados in the first place.

      • Thoughts On The Dead

        June 2, 2016 at 8:49 pm

        I really do love the Grados: they’re light and comfortable, and they sound spectacular. They’re open-backed, so anyone in the area hears your music, but I wear them at home, so that doesn’t matter. If they had a replacement cord, I would have simply bought that.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      June 2, 2016 at 8:40 pm

      I AM WEARING THEM CURRENTLY. The cords have shredded, and are held together with a combination of duct tape. Additionally, the cord must be held in a specific position for sound to come out of both ears. I love the Grados (and BoTotD).

  3. The Central Shaft

    June 2, 2016 at 8:38 pm

    As a certified water-head, I (sympathetically) feel your pain.

    Perhaps some Etymotic Research ER4P-T earbuds would suffice? I left my last pair on the F train years ago, but they are everything you are looking (Grateful Dead-level expense and fiddliness) with great sound and no skull-ular constraints.

  4. Seems hopeless, give up, sleep all day, quit answering phone and email, let the mail pile up if there is any, put the blog on auto pilot, and it will all get better.

  5. If you would listen to music that isn’t that good, you would listen less and your ears wouldn’t hurt.

  6. OK man, vociferous you want,vociferous you get. Get the darn sennheiser hd280 pro, ( or maybe 380’s they’re new not sure about them) the 280’s arec120 cdn, 150 for the 380’s. It’s a steal (obviously if finances allow buy more expensive cans , I dream of the 600 or 800’s model) they’re great. They are used for film editing and are designed to be worn all day and block out noise from the next cubicle over. And they have great sound for listening to the dead, trust me. I’m quite sure I’ve listened to more dead than David lemoilystuff ( who coincidently used to live in the same town as me )
    Replaceable cord and all the other parts, 10 foot cord.
    Sony has lost the plot lately.
    Whatever, have a good night, good luck with the return label, just put big melon as the reason for return.

  7. I like Beats. They’ve treated me nicely over the past 3-4 years. Give em a spin.

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