Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Fashion Tips According To The Rolling Stones in 1991

  • Can I see the outline of your cock?
  • No, not a vague and lumpy potato salad: the raised and distinct outline of your penis?
  • Then those pants aren’t tight enough, are they?
  • Go put on some more accessories.
  • I don’t care how many you have on now: put on more.
  • Headbands are acceptable.
  • As are do-rags and piratical scarves.
  • You may also tie aforementioned scarves around your arm or leg or whatever.
  • “Certain colors don’t go together” is a lie.
  • The single coolest piece of clothing a man can wear is a duster.
  • The single coolest thing a man can do with his duster is remove it during the bridge of the song, twirl it overhead, and throw it in the vicinity of a roadie.
  • If you’re wearing a suit, it should be obviously expensive.
  • Say yes to the vest.


  1. What’s wrong with being sexy?


    I will never understand how balls don’t get crushed in pants. This must’ve hurt. How do you not constantly hurt your balls? I like not having balls. Balls.

  3. I don’t think there is enough focus here on footwear. A whole arena of investigation and reflection is being neglected here.

    In fact, come to think of it, why isn’t there an Institute for Advanced Study of Garcia’s Footwear?

  4. and there is a prison there….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.