Describe yourself in one word.
“No.”
Who was Herodotus?
“A fabled man.”
How many discrete pieces of clothing do you have on?
“31, but each is small. How are you finding Burning Man?”
Mostly on Instagram.
“The mediated life, once-removed. Clean and neat.”
My place is a mess, actually. How do you smell?
“Relentlessly human. Do you renounce solipsism, last-Tuesdayism, matrixism, and the brain-in-a-jar hypothesis?”
I do renounce them.
“Do you renounce nihilism, and the catalytic converter?”
I do renounce them.
“And Satan?”
Which one?
“Satan Laramie.”
Linebacker for the Rams?
“That’s him.”
I do renounce him.
“And what about this clown made out of drugs?”
What?
“WHO WANTS A BALLOON SWASTIKA?”
I hate Burning Man almost as much as this bit.
Is that Precarious waving in the background?
That looks nothing like Precarious.
It looks like his hat.