Oh, God, Bobby: not Crossfit.
“Oh, no. Just popping in for a sweat, y’know. Jumping jacks and indian bends and whirling those big wood clubs around.”
What?
“Later, I’m gonna hook myself up to that machine that jiggles the canvas belt around your belly.”
Are all of your fitness ideas from the 1920’s?
“No, I’m also off gluten.”
Well, at least there’s that.
“I was just fooling with you: I know what Crossfit is.”
Are you a member?
“Nah. A status game disguised as a transcendent experience played by sweaty upper-middle-class white people? I get enough of that at the day job, y’know?”
Yup.
“Crossfit also seems to think working out is a sport.”
They also think failure isn’t an option.
“I know. That’s weird: failure is the most popular option.”
…
“And I don’t know what in Christ’s name those things they call ‘pull-ups’ are.”
Stoolin’, stoolin’, pretty mama don’t you tell on me.
http://site.mansionathletics.com/lib/0079/captionimages/20505-2-.jpg
I see what you’ve done here.
I just ate 3 slices of pizza and I haven’t worked out in a week. I love life
That’s the confident glow of a man who’s Molestache could bench press a station wagon full of nuns.
“A status game disguised as a transcendent experience played by sweaty upper-middle-class white people?”
This is why I read your blog. Brilliant line.