Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Finger-Easy To Love You

You spray that shit on the strings?

“Oh, yeah. Finger-Ease. Love it. It’s, uh, pretty much my longest relationship.”

What does it do?

“It makes fingering easier.”

Could’ve answered my own question, I guess.

“Only for guitars, though. Not the other kind of fingering.”

Billy tried?

“Oh, yeah. That was a hospital trip.”

Really? It’s just a silicon-based oil.

“Yeah, yeah. But, uh, he shoved the can up a meter maid’s ass.”

That’ll do it.

“And, you know, every time she hiccupped, the nozzle would depress. She was starting to get full.”

No good for anyone.

“Well, Billy got free parking after that.”

Oh.

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