May I have a marshmallow?
“They’re not marshmallows.”
I know. My question was unrelated to your flaming Wolverine-hands.
“You know what marshmallows are made of?”
“Horse hooves and colonialism.”
Will you cook my hot dog?
Will you cook my tofu dog?
What is the current delusion of the masses?
“The lie of productivity; the trap of the work ethic; the preservative of progress. Suckers think they always gotta be doing something.”
“The rats, the sheep, the easily-cowed, the busy beavers, the workhorses.”
A motley menagerie.
“And not enough cages.”
But is man not meant to be free?
“Meant, shmeant. Judge man by his actions. He chooses stability and security over freedom.”
Freedom includes the freedom to choose stability and security.
“You’re talking in circles.”
The world is round. What color are your eyes?
“Pet fish at a rich person’s house.”
“It’s the Cadillac of eye colors.”
You ever burn your house down?
“I see what you did. This is the part where you ask me if I have a boyfriend.”
Yeah, I don’t know why we’re doing this bit again, either.
“GET AWAY FROM MY LADY! SHE ONLY GOES OUT WITH MOOSE!”
You’re not a moose. You’re a passed-out hippie in a deer mask.
“DON’T ASSUME MY SPECIES!”
Bringing this bit back was a mistake.