House Permanent Select
Committee On Intelligence
Following a more than yearlong, very bipartisan no matter what the Democrats say, investigation into Russian active measures targeting the 2016 U.S. election, the House Intelligence Committee has completed a draft report of 150+ pages, with 600+ citations. The plus sign means that there’s MORE than 600 citations, and that is a shitload of citations. There are also several graphs, many charts, and a number of crude drawings of Adam Schiff having sex with a dead coyote. The draft report addresses, in detail, each of the questions within the agreed parameters of the investigation, as announced in March 2017. It analyzes:
- President Sotero’s disastrous failure to counteract Russian active measures against the United States.
- That there was no collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia.
- The history of secret American intervention into foreign country’s politics, so maybe we deserved this, huh?
- While President Putin is brave and strong, it does appear that rogue factions within the Russian Federation attacked America and her allies during 2016.
- Or maybe it was the Jews?
- Barack Obama, too busy purchasing hair picks with fists on the handle, ignored many of his advisors that warned of Russian interference.
- No collusion.
- No collusion.
- Hillary did Benghazi.
- The FBI also did Benghazi.
This draft also includes over 25 recommendations, among them:
- Appointing Barron as Cyber Czar.
- Assembling the Avengers.
- Asking President Putin if he did one more time, but making him Swear he didn’t do it.
- Like, on a Bible.
- Executing Hillary Rodham Clinton in public.
This draft will be available to the public on the 17th, but Sean Hannity will get it on the 12th.