“You, uh, wanna do a thing?”
“Is the thing drumming?”
“Fine, I guess.”
Jeff Chimenti wearing a hat is like Scarlett Johansson wearing a space suit. Do not keep your beauty to yourself, Jeff Chimenti. Does the eagle refuse to fly in fear of embarrassing the pigeon? Let the world see your silvery goodness.
Double potato salad.
I feel like Josh is showing me his invisible engagement ring.
“Thoughts on my Ass! Look at my gum!”
No, thank you, Billy.
Fine. Yes, you have gum in your mouth.
What does that even mean?
“Viagra-flavored. Gum gets soft, and Billy gets hard.”
“I’m gonna stick it in stuff.”
Your dick or the gum?
“Both! I used to know some skank in Indianapolis. This chick could chew gum with her swimmin’ hole. Blow bubbles, the whole nine yards. I tried to get her on Star Search, but Ed McMahon called the cops on us.”
“I got a million of ’em.”