“So, Frog had someone write a book full of mean and hateful things, and also skank stories. Toad had tried to be nice to Frog, but Frog was just a real jackass.”
“Don’t interrupt Story Time.”
“Perhaps Frog was jealous of Toad’s thick and beautiful head of hair, who knows with Frog?”
Phil, that’s not the story and you know it.
“The children need to know the truth about drummers.”
I don’t agree.
“Who gives a shit? It’s my restaurant, and these are my children.”
Those are not your children.
“Every parent here would give me their children if I asked.”
“Can’t have another generation of wieners. Gotta toughen ’em up.”
How is telling them lightly-fictionalized stories about Billy toughening them up?
“They will know horror.”
Also true. Can’t you just read The Cat in the Hat?
“Changed that one, too.”
What’s it about now?
Okay, the kids need to hear that.
“Glad I have your approval.”