Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

From Father To Son

“LUKE.”

“LUKE.”

“LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE.”

“What!?”

“LET’S GET PANINIS.”

“Dad, I’m meditating.”

“YOU’RE ALWAYS MEDITATING. COME ON, PANINIS. I’M BUYING.”

“I have plans for lunch.”

“YOU’RE NOT GOING TO SUCKLE THOSE ALIEN COW-THINGS, ARE YOU?”

“I don’t suckle them.”

“NEAR ENOUGH. IT IS OFFPUTTING. WHAT WOULD YOUR MOTHER HAVE THOUGHT?”

“I have no idea what she would have thought. I never met her and you won’t talk about her.”

“SHE WAS A TERRIBLE ACTRESS.”

“That doesn’t help, Dad.”

“LUKE, DON’T PUSH ME AWAY AGAIN. NOW THAT WE ARE BOTH FORCE GHOSTS, WE CAN TRULY GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.”

“You’re just lonely because none of the other Force Ghosts will talk to you.”

“LOT OF BAD FEELINGS THERE. OBI-WAN CAN REALLY HOLD A GRUDGE.”

“Well, in his defense, you broke his heart. I think in this discussion, he holds the moral high ground.”

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE THAT PHRASE.”

“What about Qui-Gon? Go hang out with him.”

“THAT GUY SUCKS.”

“He’s not that bad.”

“HE IS A MIDI-CHLORIAN TRUTHER. THAT THEORY HAS BEEN THOROUGHLY DEBUNKED. IT’S LIKE TALKING TO A FLAT-CORSUSCANTER.”

“You’re very judgmental .”

“I AM HUNGRY. PANINI TIME.”

“All right, fine.”

“EXCELLENT. TOGETHER, WE WILL EAT THE PANINIS SIDE-BY-SIDE, FATHER AND SON.”

“If you say so. Dad?”

“YES, MY SON?”

“Why are still in the whole get-up with the voice and whatever? I thought when you turned into a Force Ghost, you reverted back to your old self.”

“WHO WOULD YOU HAVE ME LOOK LIKE? HAYDEN CHRISTIANSON OR THE OLD CABBAGE-HEAD GUY?”

“Those are terrible choices.”

“YES, MY SON. BESIDES, I AM A DARTH. YOU CAN’T SHOW UP IN BLUE JEANS AND A BALL CAP AND EXPECT PEOPLE TO CALL YOU DARTH. DARTHS ARE SCARY.”

“So go back to being Anakin.”

“ANAKIN WAITS IN LINE FOR PANINIS. DARTH VADER GETS SERVED IMMEDIATELY. KEEPING THE ARMOR.”

“Fine. Let’s go.”

“AND WE NEED TO STOP AT SPACE WALMART ON THE WAY.”

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

1 Comment

  1. I don’t think Darth will appreciate the customer service, or lack there of ,at Space Wal-Mart. I foresee force choking of employees.

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