Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

From The Mixed-Up Files of Frank J. Russo

Hey, Garcia. Whatcha doing?

“Hanging out in the bathroom in a jacket.”

Cool, cool. Hey, lemme ask you a question.

“Yeah, man?”

You ever want to be in a storyline? You know: star in one?

“I dunno, man. Think I’ll stick with the cameos. Not really my shtick, right? Weir’s better at it, anyway.”

No, you’d be great. You’re a very dynamic character.

“The ladies call me the Human Dynamo.”

There you go. How about it?

“Ehh. What was this last one about? I mean, they’re all a bit loosey-goosey for my taste. Never liked the scatterbrained art films.”

There’s absolutely nothing artistic whatsoever about what I do.

“Still, man.”

Last one was fun.

“Numerous iterations of myself got blowdarts to the neck, man. That’s not fun.”

It was funny.

“Ha. The Russian guy? Elvis? Seemed like you just had everyone chase each other around for no reason so they could tell jokes.”

Nooooooo.

“Right, man.”

So much fun! Look what you’re missing!

“Putin still alive.”

“YOU GONNA TIRE OUT SOON, BOY! CAN’T NOBODY KEEP UP TH’ BUTTERFLY F’R LONG!”

“Putin is like fish vith huge penis.”

“NEITHER O’ THOSE THINGS!”

“Both!”

“NEITHER!”

“If you in boat, how come you nyet catch me yet?”

“THASS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION, POOTER. DON’T MAKE A LICK O’ SENSE.”

“Putin show dumb American trick.”

RUSSIAN DIVING NOISE

RUSSIAN RESURFACING NOISE

“Ptoo. Is fish.”

“DIDJOO JUS’ CATCH THAT GROUPER WITH YER MOUTH?”

“Da.”

“GIVE TH’ DEVIL HIS DUE, MAN. THASS SOME GOOD FISHIN’.”

“Spaceeba.”

thwip

sploosh

“Ha. Blowdart miss Putin.”

“WASN’T AIMIN’ FOR YOU, MAN.”

ENRAGED SHARK NOISE

“JUS’ TRYIN’ T’ PISS OFF JABBERJAW THERE.”

“Shitski.”

Garcia?

Garciiiiia?

“What, man?’

Weren’t you paying attention?”

“I got busy.”

Put that down.

“Fuck off.”

Don’t do lines, do storylines.

“Pass.”

It’s very rude of you to have an opiate addiction.

BATHROOM DOOR SLAM

I was done talking to you, too.

2 Comments

  1. Hey, it is artistic.

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    March 11, 2017 at 11:38 am

    “I dunno what’s going on today”

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