Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To




Bobby, I think the bottom half of the universe is decohering.

“I’ve seen this before. Besmudgement. It’s not, you know, optimal.”

Do you know what to do?

“Y’have to think real sharp thoughts at it.”

Even for this universe, that doesn’t make sense.

“World’s getting weird, what can I say?”

What’s that?








Oh, Bobby.

“I’m very thoughtfully entering the vape life.”

At least tell me it’s doobie in there.

“Well, yeah. You, uh, thought I stopped at the gas station and got a canister of Tooty Frooty-flavored nicotine juice?”

No. Okay, a little. What’s wrong with joints?

“They set my beard on fire.”


“When I shave the ol’ boy down a little, then I’ll twist one up, but when he gets fluffy and powerful like this? Like dry season in the hills. Any spark and boom.”

The rando is into you, man.

“Well, you know, part of what makes ’em randos is that they love the Dead. Self-selecting group, is what I’m saying.”

Very true. You read Josh’s article in the Times?”

“Yup, yup.”

Any thoughts?

“Eclipses must’ve scared the crap outta people in the old days.”

Any thoughts about Josh’s article?

“Ah. Well, no real specific advice or anything. I’m just wondering about the Japanese clothes.”


“You can get clothes in America.”

All kinds.

“Maybe there’s a category of garment that we don’t know about. Something, you know: we can’t even imagine.”

Josh Meyer’s Japanese clothes are an Outside Context problem?

“Yeah, sure. We’re incapable of even conceptualizing the stuff.”

So how did Josh find out about it?




  1. thought it was Old Bobby with Young Al Franken for a sec

  2. Didn’t realize people still wore ascots (outside of the Playa of course).

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