Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Fyre Wheel Burning In The Air

I had a cousin who got harvested.

Yeah?

A lot more common than we’re told. They picked him clean.

Hotel room?

Woke up in the bathroom with “Call 911” written on the mirror.

Well, that was nice of them.

Except that they had taken his eyeballs.

Ah.

CELL PHONE NOISE

I should take this.

Could be Hollywood.

Never know.

Yello?

“The situation on the ground is deteriorating.”

Benj?

“Things are not good at all here.”

Is it raining?

“The VIP guests are throwing their own poop.”

Wow. Benjy, how did you even get involved with the Fyre Festival?

“Me and Ja went to the same boarding school.”

Okay.

“Again: this is not my fault. I was given every assurance that the venue was built. Huh. That’s odd.”

What?

“Didn’t Pablo Escobar used to own hippos?”

Yeah.

“Okay. That’s where they came from.”

There are hippos?

“Hungry ones. The childhood game did not lie.”

Hippos are vegetarians.

“You should tell them that. They just ate an Instagram model. Luckily, the feral dogs are attacking them.”

There’s nothing lucky about that, Benjy.

“Wow, now the sharks are involved. I’m getting a lot of nature time here.”

Benjy, please try to save some people. Or something.

“This is an every-man-for-himself situation.”

You have responsibilities. You are supposed to be in charge.

“No one is in charge here. Fear is in charge now. Soon, hunger will reign. Then, violence will be king.”

Are you high?

“Well, no one told me that the festival was gonna be canceled, so I dosed on the plane ride over.”

Great. Stay safe.

“You sending Precarious?”

Yeah, he’ll be right there.

“Don’t blame Ja for this.”

I blame Ja for this.

1 Comment

  1. Anybody got tape from the dead’ set at the fyre festival?
    Barbed wire whipping party< blues for the rainforest<blues for Allah
    They killed it.

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