Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Garcias All The Way Down

walmart jerry

Oh, c’mon! I need to put my foot down.

“People who appreciate a good deal need a Garcia, too. I’m Wal-Mart Garcia.”

Nice how you put effort into the name.

“Don’t you creativity-shame me!”

Not a thing.

“I had a terrible education.”

Where’d you go to school?

“Brown.”

Sure. Get out.

[PDF] Li, Ernest Hemingway -

“I will tutor you, Wal-Mart Garcia.”

Fuck this shit.

“My lessons will be direct. We will write in the morning. We will do dangerous activities in the afternoon. Then, the drink.”

And you are?

“Manly Garcia.”

Sure.

[PDF] Pratchett starts process

“That man’s not half the Garcia I am, Wal-Mart Garcia.”

I don’t understand this storyline at all.

“Join with me, and we will wear hats.”

Terry Garcia?

“Oh, hello. Have we been introduced?”

Okay, that’s enough. Every white guy with a beard and a book or two to his name isn’t a Garcia.

frederick douglas

“Who are you calling white, sir?”

Shit.

“Garcias come in all colors, shapes, and sizes.”

One size, really.

“To deny that one is a Garcia is to deny one is a man!”

Fine, whatever: you’re a Garcia.

“Thank you.”

Name?

“Slavery Garcia.”

OH, COME ON.

“You have a problem with my name?”

A bit on the nose, isn’t it?

“Don’t tell me what my name is. Don’t tell me what to do. I was born a slave and I wrote a book. You’ve been white all your life. Where’s your book?”

FUCK YOU, FREDERICK DOUGLAS!

“FUCK YOU, WHITE BOY!”

Can we not do this?

He started it.

No. No, he didn’t There’s no “he.”

Yeah, sure.

Please stop doing this bit. It’s weird and no one likes it.

Some people like it.

They’re wrong to do so.

8 Comments

  1. If it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

  2. I want to be on the record approving this bit.

  3. Mas Garcias por favor

  4. yeah I’m in on the Garcias riff 100%

  5. Yes. One thousand percent.

  6. If liking this is wrong I don’t want to be right.

  7. Ah fuck Buck. Already said it. But yeah. 2nd’d. This shit is genius. Best one yet. Keep ’em coming.

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