Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Garcias Assemble!


Oh. who the hell are you?

“I am the real Curry Garcia! That other bastard is stealing my act!”

I don’t want to play this game.

“Satisfaction must be mine! I summon the Court of Garcias!”

Stop this.


“Garcia-san reporting.”


“My verdict is: death by seppuku.”

Oh, that’s your answer for everything.

“You have shamed me. I will now commit seppuku.”

Stop this. Stop all of this.

fat imam

“A-sala’am Alekem, or however you spell that.”

Oh, this won’t end well.

“I am Imam Garcia. I heard we were gathering?”


“That is what I heard.”

You heard an incorrect thing.

“Allow me to make up quotes at you–”

Please don’t.

“–the sands of the oasis water both camel and man. Hmm? Nice?”

It’s not terrible, honestly. But you still need to leave.

Image result for hagrid

“Did someone assemble the Garcias?”

YOU ARE NOT A GARCIA. You’re Hagrid.

“Hagrid Garcia.”


Please make this end.

I want to help you there, but I’ve lost control of the idea.

That’s not a thing.

“It could be a thing with some magic!”

Shut up, Hagrid.

Yeah, Hagrid. Go fuck your hippogriff. Grown-ups are talking.



Anyway: can we stop this, please?

I’m trying, but–

[PDF] Idiots raged over a turban

–I’m outnumbered by Garcias.

“I’m Cranky Turban Garcia and I say we hang the sonofabitch.”

I don’t even remember what we were talking about.

It was gibberish from the start.

“Do not ignore me!”

Just hit publish and move on.



  1. Christian grifter Garcia

  2. Even Andy Garcia is in on it….

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