Hey, Bobby. Whatcha doing?
“Oh, uh, getting out of the van.”
“Later, I’m gonna get back in the van.”
“I actually did the math a while ago. 8% of a Rock Star’s life is spent getting in and out of vans.”
What about the rest?
“Glad you asked. 10% is deciding on what trousers to wear.”
“30% is suing or assaulting people trying to steal from you. Or, you know: dangling them out of windows.”
Gotta dangle a guy out a window now and then.
“It’s what the music industry was founded on.”
“10% is Rando-related activities.”
“15% is avoiding Clive Davis when he’s drunk.”
“Handsy. Add in another 10% for, you know, family or whatever.”
“Another 15% for tuning up.”
That might be strictly a Grateful Dead percentage.
Wait. That leaves 2%.
“Actually playing music.”
There ya go.