In news of the sadly necessary, bars have begun posting these signs in bathroom informing women of something called the”Angel Shot.” I think it’s terrible that this sort of thing is required, and I also feel terrible that whoever took this photo didn’t include the other sign with further codes to alert the staff to specific predicaments:

With Cherry Your bartender will proofread your dissertation.

With Lemon Your bartender will pick up his long-neglected sword, mount up the fastest horse in the livery, and ride towards Fanlioel to rouse the Men of Moriah with news that the Bukhragh are on the march.

With salt Your bartender will sell you cocaine.

Water back Date appeared normally-sized online, but in reality is only 14 inches tall; he climbed into my purse and now he won’t get out.

Spritzer Nothing wrong with the guy–I kinda like him–but the kitchen’s on fire.

Dirty with olives Date is a werechameleon, and I haven’t been able to find him since the moon came out.

Double Thought I was texting with one guy, but it turns out I was texting to his semi-unborn twin that grows out of his shoulder.

Citrus zester Date is wearing a jumpsuit, out of his mind on pills, and speaking with the caps lock on.