Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Hall Of Famers

I was number one.”

“You don’t say.”

“Ahead of Orlando Bloom, Groban, everybody. Best bang.”

“That’s wonderful, Josh. Who are we talking about?”

“Katy Perry.”

“Is that a friend of my wife’s?”

“An internationally famous pop star.”

“I don’t know their names, but I know who they are. Are you talking about the tall, skinny, mean one?”

“No, but I nailed her, too.”

“Nice. Was it the one who’s always smoking doobies in public?”

“She won’t return my DM’s.”

“I don’t know what that is. So, this young lady said you were hot to trot? Well done.”


“I got great reviews from Pam Dawber.”


“Yeah. She had a thing for athletes.”

“Cool. Well, you know, Katy’s reeeeeally famous.”

“Don’t sleep on Mindy. Her and Mork were America’s sweethearts.”

“Any other ’80’s teevee stars?”

“Markie Post.”


“Not really. Very petite woman. Like trying to shove your head into a tube sock.”


“All the Facts of Life girls.”

“At once?”

“Threesome with Tootie and Blair. Natalie and Jo separately.”

“Details, man. I need details.”

“Tootie kept her roller skates on.”

“Sweet. Who was the MVP?”

“Natalie. Hands down. And everything else down, too. She was happy to be in the game, and she gave it her all. Real winning attitude.”

“You should write a second book.”

“Benjy keeps calling me about it.”


  1. Bill better hope Moe Greene doesn’t read this.

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    June 15, 2017 at 8:17 am

    Bill’s wearing the same track pants he wore at the Hollywood Bowl Bomb Scare Show. I saw him in the $32 Bud Light line. He had Hungry Bum.

  3. SmokingLeather

    June 23, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    If I look straight up I see the underside of Bill Waltons chin. Josh seems to be much taller than I think of him as being.

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