Okay, first of all: this post’s title is fucking sterling. I am proud of myself.
Second: it turns out that Donnie Yen’s character, Chirrut Imwe, is not technically a Jedi in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, but he’s Jedish enough for me; TotD hereby confers upon Donnie Yen the title of Jedi-shifu, and appoints him to the council.
So, yes: the world is crumbling like a Jenga tower in the Earthroamer; and, yes: 2016 has not even begun to shred out hearts. But Donnie Yen is playing the Blind Master in a Star Wars movie, so it can’t be all bad.