Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Handsome Marin Boy


“Don’t sex-growl at me, jackass.”

Can’t help it. Good picture. You look like an experimental novelist who won the MacArthur Genius grant.

“Y’know, it’s creepy when a compliment is that specific.”

You’re the one wearing the artistic glasses.

“These are neat, aren’t they? Got an owl thing going on.”

Where’d you get ’em? A little hippie shop? Old lady find ’em for you?

“The Oliver Peoples in the Short Hills Mall.”

GodDAMNit, I need you people to stop using the Time Sheath to go shopping.

“Fuck off. I’m a firm believer in the free market.”

I don’t care how libertarian your economic philosophies are, they don’t include skipping ahead a few decades to find accessories.

“Ah, stuff it. It’s not like I’m going back in time and stealing Old Masters from the Nazis.”

You’re doing that, aren’t you?



“Fun and profit.”

How do you profit off of that? They’re stolen paintings with no provenance.

“Easy. I steal the art, find out who it belonged to, jump back a few decades or whatever, and sell the paintings to their original owners.”



You just gave my brain a toothache. I hate trying to make sense of time travel.

“The math works out.”

Oh, don’t bring math into this. What did math ever do to you?

“You know what’s some real good cash? Titanic memorabilia. Stuff actually from the ship.”

How does a Time Sheath get you thousands of feet underwater?

“It doesn’t. It gets me on the ship about an hour or so before the iceberg.”

Why don’t you warn people?

“Because then the stuff wouldn’t be worth anything.”



I’m beginning to regret giving the Grateful Dead a time machine.



  1. So Mr Bob Weir had a 70th birthday a few days back. Want to go back and wish him a happy birthday?

  2. Michael Crichton

    October 21, 2017 at 11:22 pm

    Phil kinda looks like Peter Fonda there

    • Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

      October 23, 2017 at 10:53 am

      or Paul Kantner?

        • Luther Von Baconson

          October 23, 2017 at 4:38 pm

          knew 2 brothers whose Mom bought them transitions. this was a Canadian Mom thing, by the 2 brothers transitions. the younger one said “stop copying me!” a lot. which likely happened with Phil & Paul.

          Hakim Optical you get transitions with any Aviator Style frame. you also get:
          a Restraining Order (with Weekend Pass from Millhaven).
          Pack of Belvedere Lights.
          Subscription to Variations.
          Musk-scented Soap on A Rope.
          Bikini Briefs.
          Ford Fiero key fob.

  3. It seems Phil splurged on the transition lenses.

  4. Really eh? Just like the microwave oven and VHS tapes they didn’t reach Canada til the 1990’s.

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